


Pokémon, Beyoncé and a cute christmas sweater

by sosioban



Category: Almost Human
Genre: Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-26
Updated: 2014-11-26
Packaged: 2018-01-20 20:44:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 41,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1524974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sosioban/pseuds/sosioban
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Richard's MX has bought him a gift that sends them both on a quest for Gym Badges. Somewhere along the way Richard develops an attachment to the members of his Pokémon team- and to his MX.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please note that while the main romantic pairing in this story is going to be Richard/his MX, other pairings may appear or be implied (mainly John/Dorian).
> 
> A huge thank you to my wonderful betas, [jjjat3am](http://jjjat3am.tumblr.com) and [Cheesecake12](http://cheesecake12.tumblr.com) ! Without their help I would probably never have published this and even if I had... Well, let's just be glad that I wasn't alone on this.

"A gift?"  
"Yes."  
Richard shifted his weight from one leg to the other, licking his lips, his brows knitting together in a concerned frown. The MX held out a package the size of a deck of cards. Richard pretended to be busy with arranging his cufflinks, despite the fact that he wasn't wearing any.  
"You don't get paid," the man said slowly. The MX acknowledged this with a "Correct." Richard put his hands on his hips and tilted his head in enquiry, but the bot remained silent.  
"Where did you get this?"  
"DRN-0167 told me to relay the following message, were you to question the origins of the gift." The MX paused, blinked, and suddenly looked like its spine had gone soft. Richard tensed and reached out instinctively, ready to catch the bot if it fell on its face.  
"We didn't do anything illegal, man," the MX said in Dorian's voice.  
The last time the MX had mimicked someone to relay a message had been about a week ago, when Richard hadn't made it to the phone. That time the MX hadn't even moved its mouth to conform to the voice, only repeating it through its speakers. "We've been doing commissions in the charging bay and selling them online..."  
All the gestures, expressions and mannerisms that came with the message fit the MX like a fat cat fit in a small margarine tub. Sure, a cat could and would sit in the tub, but it looked extremely uncomfortable and made the owner fear the whole thing might topple over and fall off the table at any moment. And there was no way to close the lid.  
Richard stuffed his hands in his pockets to keep from trying to steady the bot as it swayed on its feet.  
"...John opened an account for the money since we're technically not able to own anything, but other than that your partner really did all the work, so you better appreciate what he got for you or I will personally see to it that-" the MX stopped moving abruptly and reverted back to its usual stoic stance.  
"The rest of the message is irrelevant," it finished, leaving Richard to gawk at it.  
"What the hell was that? Why did you -"  
Richard paused as he noticed movement in the corner of his vision. A guy from forensics- Jean? Yeah, the one with the turtles - walked by and peered at them curiously, seemingly not minding Richard's threatening scowl at all. Richard waited until the man was gone before continuing in a lower voice.  
"Couldn't you have just told me what he said?"  
"Affirmative. Detective Kennex suggested presenting the nonverbal cues as well. He said it would help you understand the situation better, and his DRN agreed, so I included them in the message."  
Richard reached out towards the bot's shoulder, stopped, and swiftly moved the raised arm to pinch the bridge of his nose instead.  
"MX. Look -" the detective forced out a sigh. "How many times do I have to tell you not to listen to Kennex? He's just trying to make me look like an ass, and given the chance he'll use you to get to me!"  
The MX simply blinked back at him, the bot's expressionless face a yin to the yang of Richard's ever-changing grimace.  
"And why are you doing that?"  
"What are you referring-"  
"The blinking! You never blink- why are you still blinking? It's weird. Please don't do that."  
The MX looked down to the gift-wrapped package in its hands, then back to Richard. The detective shifted his weight on his feet, adjusting the cuffs of his shirt. He let his gaze slip from the MX to their surroundings, finding nothing to distract him from continuing the discussion.  
"You're upset," the MX observed, drawing the man's eyes back to the bot. "I apologize."  
"No, no it's- ... " the MX moved past the detective and set the package on his desk, giving no indication of hearing the man's mumbled words at all.  
"I was asked to report if there was a problem with the delivery of the gift. I will return to you shortly," was all Richard got for an explanation before the MX strode off to god-knows-where. His alarmed yelp of "where are you going" went unnoticed by all except Jean-the-turtles-guy, who literally stopped in his tracks just to stare at Richard dumbly, a cup of coffee in one hand and a muffin in the other.  
"What do you want?" the detective snapped louder than he'd intended. Jean ducked his head and skittered away without a word. If there had been anyone to point it out to, Richard would have drawn attention to the way the guy's greasy bald head momentarily matched the ugly red shirt he wore.  
Richard scoffed and sat at his desk. His legs were shorter than the MX's and he didn't know where the bot was going. He had to jog to keep up when the MX walked at the pace its legs naturally carried it. Besides, the MX was built to outrun a light motorcycle.  
Richard moved the package out of the way and turned on the monitor. A minute later he was staring at the little dot indicating his MX was in a lift, heading downwards. With a few familiar movements he brought up the contact information of the supervising technician currently responsible for the charging bay.  
He'd talked with this woman before. She'd seemed so sweet at first, but then refused to answer his questions and got irritated when Richard persisted. Eventually she'd simply hung up on him, the witch. He'd never gotten a proper explanation as to why his MX's uniform had been speckled with colorful lint at the beginning of their shift that day.  
Richard sighed, checked the time, and turned the screen off. His chair gave a high-pitched whine as he leaned back on it.  
The gift on Richard's desk was covered in shiny blue gift wrap and sealed with transparent tape. The paper wrapping looked like he could easily rip it open without any tools.  
He crossed his arms and glared at it.

\----  
\----  
Ten minutes. The package remained on Richard's desk. The detective turned the screen back on and stared at the dot labeled "MX-176 [Richard Paul]".  
\---  
Fifteen minutes. Richard pulled up the supervising technician's contact information again. Closed it. His MX's dot wasn't moving. Richard bit his lip.  
The corridors were usually almost empty at this hour, so he wouldn't have to stop to explain where he was going. It would only take five minutes to get to the charging bay.  
Richard rested his head in his hands and sulked.  
\---  
Seventeen minutes.

"Paul?"  
Richard jolted upright in his chair and swiped at the screen to get rid of the map. Not that it would make any difference, as the intruder was a bot and could easily summon up any image it had seen since the beginning of its memory. If Dorian had already seen the screen, hiding it now was pointless.  
When Richard swiveled around, Dorian was glowering at him from three feet away. The bot's hunched shoulders and furious frown had the detective crossing his arms defensively.  
"I know what John would say about this, but I have to admit I'm surprised you would choose to be such an utter and complete-"  
Instead of delivering the punchline, Dorian huffed and lowered the accusing finger he'd been jabbing in Richard's direction. "You still have it." The bot cast a long enough glance to the item in question for Richard to catch on.  
The detective got to his feet, though he didn't quite end up at Dorian's eye-level due to his own limited height. It would have taken two or three deep breaths for Richard to be able to articulate the question calmly, but his MX had been gone for far too long already.  
"What the hell did you do to my partner?"  
Dorian blinked at him. Blue lights swirled on the bot's cheek as he spoke, once again the epitome of the calm and collected. "Your partner is fine -"  
"'Fine' my ass!" Dorian's concerned frown turned into a pout.  
"If it was fine, it would be standing right there," Richard jabbed a finger towards the empty spot, "and it would be staring off into space like it doesn't give a shit because they don't give shits and they definitely don't give gifts!"  
"Calm down, man."  
"Obviously someone has done something -"  
"Detective, your partner is fine. Really. Please-" Dorian fixed him with a stern look"- listen for a moment, alright? This will only take a minute."  
Richard scowled but swallowed his objections.  
"Your partner came to me and asked for help with getting you a gift."  
"Bullshit."  
"They did. They knew what they wanted to give you but didn't know how to get the money for it, so they asked me, and I helped. I don't know what it was, but they must have had some reason for wanting to give you that gift, whatever it is."  
"The MX don't want things! If you're not the one who planted this idea in its head, then who was it? Kennex?"  
"I'd suspect you before anyone else, since you're the one who spends the most time with 176."  
"I never told it to get me anything!"  
"The MX are capable of drawing their own conclusions. You wouldn't have had to say 'get me a gift,' it might just as well been 'I broke my coffee maker this morning, I haven't had any coffee and now can't keep awake.' They could reason you would work better if you had a new one, thus wanting to provide it."  
Richard pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. He hadn't broken his coffee maker or any other machinery in his apartment lately.  
"So it decided I needed... something, and that I also needed help in buying it," Richard grimaced, getting a reassuring nod as a response as if he'd asked a question.  
"Though I don't think they necessarily thought you'd need help buying it, more that it would be a considerate thing to do."  
"Sure," Richard deadpanned, "MXs are always so considerate, aren't they. What did you do for the money?"  
"Commissions."  
"Commissions."  
Dorian grinned shamelessly, causing the detective to narrow his eyes and shift on his feet uncomfortably.  
"Yup."  
"What kind?"  
"Maybe you should ask your partner?"  
The detective was silenced by the sight of the dark, familiar form closing in on them from the lift area. The MX walked right to the spot it usually stood guard in and froze there; staring off into the distance, not giving a fuck.  
"Glad you could make it." Dorian smiled at the bot sincerely. "Richard here was just about to thank you for the gift." Richard opened his mouth to protest, but the MX was looking at him. Dorian's uncharacteristically cold smile assured there would be several colors of consequences if the detective failed to do as told.  
"Thanks," Richard pronounced in a flat tone, making sure not to sound the least bit thankful for Dorian's benefit. "I hope you will find it enjoyable," the MX said in its equally impassive voice and went back to staring at the wall.  
Richard waited, but neither of the bots said or did anything to indicate what was supposed to happen next. Dorian went as far as to regard Richard expectantly.  
"What?!"  
"Aren't you going to open it?"  
"Will that make you leave?"  
"Sure."  
Richard sneered, then turned toward his desk and grabbed the package.  
"I swear if it explodes in my face or something," the detective muttered, glaring ice and daggers at the DRN while carefully not looking anywhere near the MX.  
The gift was wrapped with just enough paper to fully cover the small box it held inside. Richard turned the box around in his hands, frowning at the colorful decorations and text on each side of it. Richard had seen similar packaging used for different kinds of digital media. The suspiciously cheerful exterior of the gift seemed best fit for something found in the children's section of a library.  
"Is this a children's book or something?"  
"Affirmative."  
Dorian was peering at the gift with tangible curiosity. As he glanced up to meet Richard's questioning stare, the bot quirked an eyebrow in return, bringing them to a stalemate.  
Richard narrowed his eyes at the DRN; Dorian raised his hands and eyebrows in surrender, finally ending the silence with a question.  
"You got him a children's book?"  
"Negative."  
"But you just said it was a..." Dorian tapered off, his face taken over by a look of understanding, then the look of a man who was fighting the urge to hit his head against something. The MX finally flicked its intense gaze away from Richard, pinning it on the DRN instead. Richard was surprised at how much easier it was to breathe when the bot's focus was no longer on him and his reactions.  
"I was asked if it was a children's book or something," the MX said, ignoring or not noticing the exasperated look on Dorian's face. "It is not a children's book, but assuming the word was used as a pronoun, it does qualify as 'something'. In an or question when one of the statements return a value that equals -"  
"Okay, so it's not a children's book", Richard sighed, and began to read the text at the back of the box. Words like 'adventure', 'exciting' and 'battle' were thrown around in the short description. Richard finished the side with growing trepidation.  
"I'm guessing they don't mean rocket-propelled grenades when they talk about this being an RPG..."  
The detective started when, upon looking up, he found Dorian much closer than he'd remembered. The bot made grabby hands towards the game box, and Richard let him take it, stepping back the second he was freed of the box.  
"I wondered what it was you needed that much money for! This actually looks pretty interesting," Dorian marveled, the sides of his face flashing blue and eyes alight with excitement. "It's got really good reviews online too." Richard responded to the bot's smile with a blank look to match the one his MX was wearing.  
"Why aren't you jumping up and down about this, man? Just look at this little fellow," the little fellow being an odd yellow thing with a slight resemblance to a rodent. "Isn't he cute?"  
"Who's cute?"  
Kennex was sipping on a cup of steaming coffee, and the dark half-moons under his squinting eyes suggested he'd be needing at least two cups more before he'd have any chance of passing as someone who didn't just wake up from a nap in an empty interrogation room. Richard narrowed his eyes at the other detective.  
"Pikachu," Dorian beamed, turning to show the box to his confused partner. Richard plucked the box from the bot's hands before Kennex could get his clumsy paws on it, which elicited a sound of protest from the DRN. Richard ignored Dorian's disappointed frown as he slipped the box into his pocket and went to collect the rest of his things from his desk.  
"That was the gift thing, wasn't it," the yawning Kennex came to a halt approximately half an inch from Dorian, who answered his question with a chipper "mm-hm." "So what did Mr. Purl Stitch buy for you?" Dorian elbowed his partner in the stomach, making the detective hunch over slightly. Sadly the nudge wasn't enough to make him spill his coffee.  
Richard pulled his jacket on as he waited for an explanation on what "Mr. Purl Stitch" could possibly be referring to. Instead of noticing his raised eyebrows, Dorian and Kennex were using their own to have a silent conversation between themselves. After about five seconds, Kennex sighed dramatically and rolled his eyes.  
"Okay, the MX, what did the MX get for you?" Kennex went on to take a gulp of his coffee to distract himself from the embarrassment of giving in to the DRN's eyebrow game. When he burned his mouth on it, he spit it back in the cup with a grimace. Dorian and Richard shared a look while Kennex recovered from the pain.  
"Why did you call it "Mr. Purl Stitch'?" Richard began patting down his pockets to make sure he'd taken everything he needed to have on his person while on patrol.  
"Tell me what it bought for you and I'll tell you why I called it that," Kennex crossed his arms as much as he could while still holding the coffee. Richard stopped to smile coldly at him. He planted his hands firmly on his hips and opened his mouth to announce just how very cooperative he found himself under Kennex's threats.  
"Purl stitch is used in knitting!" Both detectives turned to Dorian, who pressed on with his explanation despite the look of betrayal on his partner's face. "We were knitting, and John couldn't compete with 176's new routine -" Kennex interrupted Dorian by shoving him sideways, and the bot let himself be swayed by it in such a convincing way it would've been easy to mistake him for a human. Kennex hissed angry expletives and other choice words at the DRN through gritted teeth, but Dorian just kept laughing and Kennex's scowl was starting to crumble around the edges no matter how hard he obviously tried to hide it.  
Richard rolled his eyes, spun on his heels and took off without a backwards glance. His partner fell into step behind him, its even footfall a reassuring rhythm that soon triumphed over the noise of Kennex's and Dorian's distant bickering.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As before, the beta reading was done by [jjjat3am](http://jjjat3am.tumblr.com/) and [Cheesecake12](http://cheesecake12.tumblr.com/) ! Thank you so much, couldn't have done it without you <3  
> And lots of love to all people in this fandom! Stay strong and think happy thoughts! (This chapter isn't exactly the happiest one though)

When Richard had been married, he had grown accustomed to noticing the small changes in his wife's behavior. She rarely mentioned if there was something bothering her, and if Richard asked she often covered up her displeasure with transparent lies that left them both feeling stupid and frustrated. By the last few months of their marriage he had become so proficient in her silent language that they could coexist in the same space without having to say anything.  
When she closed the car door, Richard had been able to tell if something was wrong from the sound of it alone. Two decibels too loud was him forgetting the dishes again; three too little was her realizing she'd left her wallet on the kitchen table; and when she slammed the door shut with all she had, it was a warning for him to apologize for still breathing or be prepared to spend the night alone on the couch.  
Listening for these changes had become a habit that stayed with Richard long after his wife left him. Sometimes he caught himself expecting to hear a telling deviation in his emotionless police android's behaviour, but with the MX the sounds were always the same. Day in day out it applied the same calculated force in the same efficient rhythm, closing the door in a string of noises Richard knew by heart.  
The passenger's side door opened with a click; a foot found its space on the floor with a faint thud; body to seat- second foot inside- another click of the door. Nothing more, nothing less. They were stuck in the chilly patrol car as firmly as they were stuck in silence.  
Richard was the only one capable of getting them out of it.  
The detective went to say something- anything- but when he turned to the MX, he found it staring back at him expressionlessly, and the words dried in his throat.  
"Sir, what is your emotional state?"  
"...Come again?"  
"Your expression just now suggested acute pain, but my scans indicate the problem is unlikely to be physical. How do you feel?"  
Richard shook his head.  
"I was just... thinking."  
"Please elaborate."  
The detective sighed and started patting his pockets. It didn't take long to find the item he was looking for, but getting it out of his pants pocket while remaining seated was a bit of a struggle. When he eventually managed the feat, he turned the small box around in his hands a few times before holding it up in between himself and the MX. The bot didn't even blink at the game packaging, instead opting to continue staring expressionlessly at the detective's puzzled frown.  
"Why did you get me this thing?"  
"You've been unusually hostile towards your co-workers lately, and-"  
"Since when have I been unusually hostile towards anyone?"  
"Three weeks ago you responded to a colleague's taunting with violence."  
Richard frowned at the poorly adjusted rear-view mirror. Three weeks ago? Wasn't that around the time when -  
"Kennex shot you," the detective said quietly, his shoulders tensing at the memory. Richard had spent three hours transferring his MX's data to a new unit and checking and re-checking that it was functioning like the previous one. They hadn't lost more than the morning's worth of information, but it was all a big fucking waste of time and the new MX smelled like plastic all day after having been in storage for so long.  
"Attacking detective Kennex was, regardless of the situation, against -"  
"Shooting my partner was against protocol!"  
MX's cheek flashed red as it stared at the agitated detective.  
"Detective Kennex's reckless behaviour in the situation was unsurprising, but the only time you were reported to have intentionally injured a co-worker was when you were in the middle of the legal process of divorcing yo-"  
"Shut up."  
The MX fell silent but kept staring at him. Richard slumped forward with a heavy sigh. The steering wheel was cold against his forehead; he still hadn't turned the car on.  
"I've told you not to bring that up."  
The MX didn't bother apologizing, but it couldn't have missed the detective's words; not when it was monitoring him like that. Richard detached himself from the steering wheel to lean against the backrest of his seat, but the bot looked at him like it was waiting for something terrible to happen. Richard rolled his eyes.   
"Are you afraid I'm going to explode?"  
"Negative. The MX-43 model androids do not feel fear or other emotions."  
The detective nodded, glancing to the small box in his hands.  
"Yeah, I guess not."  
Richard reached over to the glove box and dumped the gift in it. The game packaging somehow managed to look out of place even in the midst of other equally random things that shouldn't have been in the car to begin with.  
"I have scanned the car and yourself and found no explosives. I assure you there is no reason for you to worry about exploding at this time."  
Richard flipped the glove box's hatch closed and started the car.

 

\-----  
\-----

 

Richard woke up to an aching neck and confusion that dissipated as soon as his bleary eyes registered the familiar shape to his immediate left. The streetlights outside the parked patrol car were quick to burn the outlines of his MX's side profile into his eyes. Richard let his eyelids fall closed again in an attempt to clear his sight. The faint afterimage soon blurred into indecipherable shapes and colors.

The next time he awoke, it was to the sound of rain hammering on the hood of the car. The streetlights were blurred by the downpour but still provided enough light for the detective to see that the MX had not moved since Richard had last opened his eyes.  
"What time is it?" The detective croaked and rubbed at his eyes. "Ten thirty-four, sir," came the reply from the unconcerned android. Richard cleared his throat, eyes flicking downwards to see if he hadn't forgotten a bottle of water somewhere on the floor. He hadn't.  
"You were asleep for a total of one hour and twenty six minutes," the MX offered helpfully. The detective groaned in frustration.  
"Are you kidding me?" Richard rubbed at the back of his neck. The pain radiating from it was answer enough to his question, but when the MX didn't say anything regardless, he couldn't help frowning at it. Usually the bot would have been staring blankly at Richard by now, but it seemed preoccupied with its hands or gloves for some reason.  
There weren't any lights flashing on the side of the bot's face Richard could see. The lights were always on when it was processing complicated data or making a connection to a network, and since it wasn't surveying the streets or interacting with anyone, it should have been staring straight forward as it usually did when idle. Was it malfunctioning? Broken? Richard's calm drowsiness escaped him in an instant.  
There hadn't been any damage done to the MX during the day as far as he had noticed- and the MX always gave him damage reports when they had cleared out of a dangerous situation. Had he missed something? Had something happened while he was asleep? Why was the MX still staring at -  
Oh.  
"What are you doing with that?" Richard shifted in his seat to face the MX as well as he could in the confined space of the car. The MX turned the box slightly and pointed at a glimmering tag covering one of the corners.  
"You haven't broken the seal on the game packaging, so it can be returned for a full refund for five more days. If you do not wish to keep this gift, I will arrange for it to be returned, and the money can be spent on whatever you choose to spend it on."  
Richard opened his mouth, only to close it again when no words agreed to form in it. He hadn't played many digital games outside of the occasional solitaire or a round of poker if he was really, really bored. It wasn't that he hated the idea of virtual reality games, but they were fairly expensive and he'd never been one to drain his bank account on something he wasn't sure he would use.  
The MX lifted its gaze from the game box to stare off into the parking lot outside of Richard's apartment. Its cheek lit up and Richard yelped in panic.  
"No! Wait! I didn't say- "  
The red lights flickered out and the MX turned to regard the flustered detective. Richard cleared his throat. In hindsight, he'd had no way of knowing if the light show had meant the MX was preparing to send the game back, or if it had been processing some other data. "I never said I didn't want it," he stammered defensively and crossed his arms. "But I haven't used one of those before, and I don't even know if I have the equipment to play it! Wouldn't I need a... some kind of a gaming platform for that thing?"  
"This game is compatible with the entertainment system you have set up in your living room."  
Richard gaped at the bot. "How do you know anything about my living room?"  
"Twenty days ago you were heavily intoxicated and needed assistance in getting to your apartment. I noted the living room setting as I scanned the premises for possible threats. Assuming you have not modified the setup since, it is compatible with the game."  
The detective's eyebrows knit together in confusion as his eyes darted from the MX's passive face to the parking lot. The rain-whipped cement didn't help him remember anything other than how cold it was outside.  
"If I was out drinking, why were you there?"  
"You had just finished your shift and decided to go to a bar instead of letting me drive you back to your apartment. I followed you and waited for you to change your mind about not leaving. You fell asleep on a counter, and I was forced to remove you from the premises."  
Richard grimaced at the description. He couldn't remember any of it, but it was all too easy to imagine. He must have been pissed about something or other, and the bar had been in a convenient spot. The MX had kept complaining about protocols so Richard had gone straight for the strong stuff, and soon he'd drowned out the bot's droning with complaints of his own. Drink after drink the complaints had become more personal and more difficult to understand until he couldn't pronounce his own name right; he had been slurring heavily and hanging to the bot's arm as they had exited the bar; the MX had been making noises that sounded like speech yet made no sense in Richard's foggy mind.  
 _They had been stuck in a small room- elevator- where everything smelled like plastic and Richard had wanted to peek inside all the pockets in the MX's uniform for some reason but couldn't get any of them open -_  
Richard blinked as his eyes struggled to refocus on his current surroundings and his ears tried to adjust to the deafeningly loud rattle of the rain.  
"How much do you remember of that night, detective?"  
Richard worried at his bottom lip and stared out the window. "Apparently not as much as I thought I did," he admitted to the passenger's side door. There had been a few cases in the last month when Richard's drinking had gone slightly overboard and his memory had been hazy in the morning as a result, but he hadn't stopped to worry about it too much since he'd always woken up alone in his own apartment. Maybe he had been too optimistic to think it also meant he'd _gone_ home alone.  
"Sir, your increasing alcohol intake is one of the reasons for choosing this gift," the MX stated. Richard tilted his head and raised his eyebrows at the bot's declaration. "Oh?"  
"You have mentioned that you regularly feel bored and do not have many hobbies. Your friends are often unavailable when you are feeling devoid of human interaction. Your lack of meaningful off-duty pastimes, the mostly unattended-to feelings of loneliness and depression, and the increases in irritability and alcohol usage may lead to both physical and mental health problems. The likelihood of you developing a dependence on alcohol is increasing at an alarming rate."  
The rain kept growing stronger, but it wasn't enough to fill the sudden silence in the car. Richard scowled at his officious partner as his mind worked through the information. He couldn't remember ever admitting to anything the MX had just thrown back at him, but mentioning this little fact would have been counterproductive considering the general message of the bot's words.  
"You think I'm going to become an alcoholic."  
"In light of the statistics and research articles I have analyzed it would not be surprising."  
"And getting me some children's game will magically cure me before I even have a problem," Richard continued with growing disapproval of the MX's reasoning.  
"Negative. Alcoholism is a complicated problem that doesn't have a single cause or an easy cure," the MX declared. Richard raised an eyebrow at it. Just how many of those "research articles" had the MX analyzed lately? It was starting to sound like an educational pamphlet.  
"It's statistically likely you would benefit from starting a new hobby or returning to an old one." The MX didn't break eye contact as it offered the game box to him. Richard sighed.  
"How statistically likely is it that you will stop fretting about my drinking if I try the game?"  
"There are no existing statistics on the matter," his partner replied without hesitation, "but by trying the game, you would contribute to the research."  
Richard rolled his eyes and took the box from the MX's gloved hand.  
The MX immediately assumed its usual pose for driving the car, as if holding the gift had been keeping it from acting like the human-shaped guard dog it really was. Seeing the synthetic's hands firmly back on the wheel and its eyes trained forward made the detective's shoulders relax into a tired slouch; he was officially stuck with the gift, but at least it was looking like he wouldn't have to talk about it anymore.  
"Your next shift begins in seven hours. Do you require further assistance in reaching your quarters?"  
Richard yawned and shook his head. The rain wasn't showing any signs of stopping, so he hid the game box in his breast pocket. The MX had parked the car as close to the front door as the parking lot allowed, but he'd still be dripping by the time he'd be out of the water's reach.  
"Good night, MX," Richard said out of habit on his way out the car. The reply was drowned out by the slam of the car door and the violent rattle of the rain, but Richard didn't need to hear it to know exactly what the bot had said, how it had said it, and even what its face had looked like as it spoke.  
His MX's "Good night, detective" was the same, impassive sound as it had been the first time he'd heard it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta work done by [jjjat3am](http://jjjat3am.tumblr.com) and [Cheesecake12](http://cheesecake12.tumblr.com) <3

Like any other self-respecting individual, Richard had not read the manual for his living room's entertainment system when he had first set it up. After he'd gotten it to work and tested it, there hadn't been any sense in keeping the instructions at hand, so he'd put the manual into storage.  
Wherever that "storage" was, it wasn't in his living room- not even under the couch. It wasn't in the bookshelf of the cramped hallway or anywhere in the utility room. It also wasn't in a box under his bed or in any of the kitchen cabinets.  
Two evenings he'd spent trying to find a way to start the game through trial and error. By the third night he was so frustrated with his own incompetence that he made a friend of a bottle of wine and turned to the internet for help. The combination turned out to be less than ideal, with Richard spending more time staring at absurd advertisements than whatever content he found on the sites he visited.  
When he woke up from his impromptu seven hour long nap on the living room couch, he wasn't any closer to being able to play the game. His head was pounding to the distant beat of his phone's ringtone, and there was a big, fat, furry animal staring at him from the entertainment system's welcome screen. "System off," Richard groaned and turned towards the backrest of the couch, desperate to burrow into the cushions and escape the consequences of his terrible life choices.  
The phone kept on ringing.  
 _"Why didn't you answer your phone?"_ His mother's voice demanded in an old memory. _"Were you dying?"_ Because the only acceptable reason for him to not pick up the phone was dying- and even then it would be best to answer and demand help. There was absolutely no escaping it when she was the one calling. Richard had set a different ringtone for his mother's calls just to avoid never having to explain that he'd been too hung over to pick up the phone.  
It wasn't his mother this time, and the phone was too loud even from across the apartment. Richard hugged his arms to his chest and wriggled closer to the cushions.  
 _"It's incredibly rude to ignore a person like that."_  
Richard sighed and got to his feet.  
He braved on through the short hallway and stumbled into the bedroom, where he found the loud electronic device on the nightstand. As he picked it up the screen was flashing a number he hadn't seen in a long time. His thumb hovered over the red 'disconnect' button for two rings, but he'd gone through too much trouble not to go with the green alternative.  
"What the hell did I do to deserve a call from you?" He growled at the receiver.  
The other end of the line was quiet enough for Richard to get suspicious. He held the phone out to have another look at the screen, but it hadn't changed since he'd tapped the answer button. Call connected: Kennex, John.  
"This is Dorian," came the unusually clipped tone from the speaker. "I'm so sorry to bother you on your day off," the android lied, his voice dripping with sarcasm.  
Richard rested his forehead against the nearest surface, which happened to be the doorway to his bedroom, and closed his eyes.  
"Your MX is on their way to your apartment, ETA fifteen minutes."  
Richard bounced off the doorway on full alert.  
"What?!" His head throbbed uncomfortably at his own too-loud voice, and his stomach did a maneuver he was pathetically familiar with. Richard spun on his heels and made a dash for the bathroom, abandoning the phone on a bookshelf as he went.  
When he hurried back to the hallway, Dorian was still on the other end of the line and was talking to someone. Richard couldn't make out the words until after he'd picked up the phone and brought it to his ear.  
"-with you, John. If you're so desperate to -"  
"Sorry about that," Richard coughed. His tongue tasted disgusting and his headache wasn't getting any better, but he needed to make sure Dorian had been kidding about the MX. Dorian wasn't nearly as notorious a prankster as his partner, but just this once Richard would have loved to hear the bot break into a laugh and mock him for freaking out.  
"What happened?" Dorian asked in what Richard didn't doubt to be honest concern. The detective was glad the call didn't have video. The little glimpse he'd caught of himself in the bathroom mirror was wildly telling of his current state, and the DRN wouldn't have had to ask if he'd seen half as much.  
"You said my MX is coming here," Richard reminded him and begun pacing towards the bathroom. "Why the hell would it do that?"  
"Your partner left to retrieve the Pokémon game they got you, since you obviously don't want it," Dorian offered as an explanation. Richard scoffed and tugged open the bathroom door; the small room still smelled like vomit, so he tried to be quick about retrieving the pain pills.  
"I never said that! Why would it think -" Richard paused to curse as a roll of gauze fell out of the medicine cabinet he'd just opened. At least it hadn't ended up in the toilet.  
"Are you alright?"  
"Fine! Why does that MX think I don't want it?" Richard could hear Kennex muttering something in the background, but the bastard was too far from the microphone.  
"The game needs to be activated online in order to play it, but there are no accounts registered to your game's serial number. Man, you haven't even tried it!"  
"I have tried! I've tried to... try -" Richard picked up the bottle of pain killers and closed the medicine cabinet with a thud. "I just haven't figured out how to start the game yet." He didn't have a glass in the bathroom, so his next stop was the kitchen. "Can you send the MX a message or call it or something and tell it I don't need it here?"  
"Oh I can send them a message." Dorian was smiling. Richard froze in the middle of the kitchen, clutching the pill bottle in one hand and the phone in the other.  
"Aaand done! I've just informed your MX that you will be keeping the game," the bot chirped. Richard let his shoulders relax and stepped to the sink.  
"Thanks," he said, setting the pill bottle on the counter to free a hand for opening the cabinet with the glasses.  
"I also told them you need assistance in setting it up."  
"What?!"  
"ETA five minutes! Have fun!"  
"DORIAN -"  
The bastard hung up on him.  
Richard swung his phone, but kept a secure grip on it to keep from flinging it right through one of the flimsy walls. Worst case scenario it could only end up in the hallway or his living room, not a neighbor's apartment, but if he'd live long enough to move he would still have to pay for the damages. The metallic fridge door looked promisingly sturdy compared to the thin frame of his phone. Noticing the clock on the screen Richard realized he wouldn't have time to collect the pieces off the floor; he set the phone on the kitchen counter and popped open the pill bottle.  
Richard flushed down one of the pain pills with a generous glass of water and hid the rest of the pills in the nearest cabinet. He hurried off to get rid of other incriminating evidence; the empty wine bottle from last night may have been the most recent addition to his apartment's decorations, but it certainly wasn't the only embarrassing item laid out in plain sight. Richard cleared the living room first, then half-jogged around the other rooms gathering trash and dirty dishes from places he wouldn't admit to having left them to. He closed all the doors to block out views of areas he didn't have time to attend to and dumped his ketchup-speckled t-shirt in the laundry basket.  
He would have brushed his teeth and gotten dressed, but it was a miracle he'd managed to do as much as he had before the door buzzer went off. Richard cast one last glance around the living room and, upon finding it in acceptable condition, wiped his sweaty palms on his pajama pants and went to open the door.  
"It's not safe to open a door without first checking who is on the other side of it, detective."  
The MX's torso was covered only by one of those thin MX-43 shirts the androids wore for charging, making it glaringly underdressed for the weather of the week. Its pants were loose enough to allow for an illusion of regular human anatomy, but while Richard recognized the pants, they looked strange without the holsters clinging to the MX's thighs.  
"Where's your helmet?" The detective wondered aloud, staring at the bot's bare head. The MX's blond mess of a crew cut was buzzed at the sides with a top just long enough to grab. It was flattened against the bot's skull as if someone had dumped a bucket of water on its head and left it to air dry.  
Richard rubbed at the back of his neck with the hand that wasn't still gripping the door handle, merely blinking as the MX brushed past him into the apartment. It took a spot next to the coat rack and settled into its usual rigid stance.  
Then it just stared at him.  
"Uh. Did you say something?"  
"Affirmative. You asked where my helmet was; I told you I left it with the rest of my battle equipment in the charging bay. Officers are not allowed to wear the police insignia while off duty, and considering I am not here on official police business it seemed appropriate to go without."  
Richard could have argued the MX's attire was far from appropriate- especially the shirt- but the bot kept talking, so he closed the door without a word. After hearing the click of the lock, Richard pulled on the handle once before finally letting go of it and turning back towards his stoic partner.  
"I have been informed that you need assistance with operating your entertainment system. With your permission I will now attempt to install the required software updates to the system."  
"Okay?" Richard nodded slowly, hugging his arms close to his bare chest in protest of the chills that crawled up his spine and threatened to make him shake. The MX watched him for as long as it took for a faint red light to travel from its jaw to its hair line, then turned sharply and marched off towards the living room, leaving a track of muddy boot prints in its wake.  
"Hey, whoa!" Richard yelped after his oblivious partner. It was enough to make the bot pause, but not to keep it from smearing more dirt all over the thankfully carpet-free floor as it turned to face the detective's incredulous grimace.  
"Were you raised in a barn?" Richard brought both hands up to rub at his temples, squeezing his eyes shut and shaking his head. "Don't answer that." He thought he heard the snap of a closing mouth.  
When the detective opened his eyes the boot prints had not miraculously disappeared, and the bot at the end of the muddy track stared at him in confusion. Not that the MX looked confused, per se, but it must have been since it hadn't apologized for the mess yet. Richard jabbed an accusing finger towards the mess and glared at his partner. The bot didn't even glance at the floor.  
"Does that gesture mean you want me to duck?"  
Had Richard's head not been shaven, he would have been pulling out hair at this point. As it was, he could only grip his aching skull with both hands and roll his eyes until they hurt too.  
"No, you idiot! There's mud everywhere!"  
"Mud does not affect my ability or willingness to duck."  
Richard let his arms fall to his sides and forced open the fists his hands were trying to curl up into. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.  
"I don't want you to duck," he growled, opening his eyes to glare at the bot. "I want you to take off your goddamned shoes and stop messing up my floor!"  
The MX's eyes fell to the floor, and its gaze followed the muddy boot prints to its equally muddy boots.  
"I apologize for 'messing up the floor'," it said to its feet. Richard could tell by the flashing on its cheek that it was analyzing the dirt, but he felt bad for shouting at it when it hung its head like that. He ran a hand down his face and sighed. It was good that his partner didn't have the programming to understand or experience emotions; if it already managed to make him forgive the mess by simply looking downwards, who knew what might happen if the MX could truly master the art of guilt tripping.  
"It's fine, don't worry about it," Richard told the android, drawing its sharp eyes back to his. Searching its face, Richard concluded that it really didn't look like it regretted the floor one bit.  
"Do you want me to clean the floor, detective?"  
He shook his head and waved a hand dismissively. "Nah, you just go do the updates or whatever it was. But take off the shoes first!"  
The MX stopped and crouched to the floor. Richard left it to tug at its boots laces. He headed for the utility room, careful not to step in the mud as he went.  
When he returned to the scene with a mop in one hand and bucket in the other, the MX had disappeared. He could hear the familiar startup tune of the entertainment system from the other end of the hallway, and there was a faint blue light reflected on the open door of the living room. Judging by the flickering of the light, it seemed to be going through the menus at quite a speed.  
Richard rolled his eyes and lowered the bucket onto the floor with a thud. If he didn't hurry up, the bot would be finished with the updates before he'd be finished with the floor. As used to the staring as he was, he didn't enjoy the idea of cleaning up another's mess while they watched; he dunked the mop in the water and got to work.  
While Richard scrubbed away the muddy tracks, he noticed the bot had had the sense to store its footwear in the shoe rack by the front door. The MX's combat boots looked alien next to his small collection of dress shoes and the lone pair of sneakers.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the cheering/encouragement in the comments! It's much appreciated and a huge mood&motivation booster <3  
> Don't forget to show some love to the betas, [jjjat3am](http://jjjat3am.tumblr.com) and [Cheesecake12](http://cheesecake12.tumblr.com) ! Without their efforts, I'd never be publishing anything (presentable anyway).

The MX's cheek kept flashing red as it stared at the far end of the living room. Now and then the wall in front of the bot lit up with a projection of a picture or a line of text; the visions always disappeared too quickly for Richard to make much sense of them. He stood in the living room doorway, scratching his jaw while the bot worked.  
Richard had a habit of ignoring his stubble growth on his days off. It had little to do with being lazy; he shaved every day before leaving for work, and the constant scraping of a razor wasn't easy on his skin. Knowing it was necessary to give his skin a break every now and then didn't change the fact that he was, quite literally, itching to be rid of the barely-there stubble.  
Richard sighed and crossed his arms to keep from touching his face. Looking at his MX's perfectly smooth jaw was only making the urge to shave worse, so he focused his gaze on the wall. There was an empty load bar floating in the far top corner of the room, "please wait" written under it.  
"How long is that going to take?"  
"You haven't installed any updates since the initial system setup, and your internet connection speed is below the average in this part of the city. If there are no further complications, it should be ready to play in fifteen minutes and twelve seconds."  
"You don't need any help with that, right?"  
"Unlikely. You haven't set any passwords to the system," the MX said, turning to look at the detective over its shoulder. "Did you know that there are refresher courses in basic IT security available at the precinct?"  
Richard rolled his eyes. "Can I go take a shower, or are you gonna force me to listen through some lecture now?"  
"I will not force you to do anything. You are free to go about your morning as usual," the MX assured him. Richard turned to leave, but didn't get to move a step.  
"You should note the updates do not require my full processing power to be completed. Until the final steps I am available for any task you may need assistance with."  
The detective scratched at the back of his head and frowned at his partner. What assistance could he possibly need when taking a shower?  
"Would you like some coffee?"  
Coffee! Richard closed his eyes, mentally bumping his head against a wall; of course it had been thinking of coffee, it was what they usually started the day with. Since Richard apparently hadn't properly woken up yet, a dose of caffeine wouldn't be a bad idea. Maybe his stomach would agree to it as well by the time he'd be out of the shower and in clean clothes.  
"Coffee would be great," Richard mumbled. "Thanks."  
The doorway wasn't big enough for two to fit through it without touching each other, so the detective stepped into the living room to make room for the bot to pass. The MX didn't as much as nod to him before marching off into the kitchen, leaving the detective standing awkwardly in the doorway.  
Richard couldn't remember anyone other than himself ever making coffee in his current kitchen. The bot didn't seem to know where everything was, as it was opening and closing cupboards with quiet creaks and thuds. Richard used to listen to familiar sounds while sprawled out on a couch much more luxurious than the one he was now idly staring at.  
His wife had always kept the coffee tin on the wrong shelf. She'd insisted _Richard_ had been the one doing it wrong, but it hadn't stopped him from putting the tin in his chosen spot whenever he made coffee for himself before leaving for work. It had been a bit of a running gag between them.  
One day Richard had discovered a note taped to the tin; "If you move this again, I'm moving your ass out of the house." At the time it had been a safe topic to joke about, and Richard had taken the time to properly _hide_ the tin instead of simply moving it. After that he'd had a new note waiting for him before each morning shift, threatening or pleading him not to hide the coffee tin again. Sometimes he wrote a note of his own to replace the one he'd found before stuffing the tin in a different cupboard or a drawer.  
Over time her notes had become less endearing and more hostile, and with each crumpled up bit of paper Richard had hidden the coffee a little better. She'd spent any amount of time going through the kitchen to avoid asking him where the tin was; he'd pretended he hadn't noticed the increasingly loud noises or the death glares aimed at him. When she'd stopped brewing enough for two, Richard had quit coffee for weeks just to show her he didn't want her goddamned coffee in the first place.  
Richard sighed and bumped his forehead against the door frame. He stayed there for a moment before slouching off towards the other end of the hallway. Pausing at the bathroom door, he listened to the clinks and clanks from the kitchen.  
"Did you find the coffee?"  
The sounds stopped.  
"I have located the coffee container," the bot announced in the same emotionless tone it used when discovering explosives. "Were you aware the next refresher course on basic IT security starts tomorrow?"  
"I'm not taking the course, MX!" Richard stepped into the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind him. The MX's voice was muffled, but it didn't have to raise its voice to be heard through the thin walls.  
"It would fit in your work schedule."  
"Still not taking it," he called out loud enough for a human to hear from the kitchen. He stared at the door for a moment, but when the bot didn't respond, he rolled his eyes and went to check the towel hanging by the shower. It looked clean and didn't smell funky, so Richard wiggled out of his pants and stepped into the shower.  
He'd had all of thirty seconds to relax under the warm spray of water before the next interruption.  
"Detective Paul?"  
Richard had to look at the door twice to make sure it was really closed; the bot's voice was so clear it may as well have been standing in the same room. It must have had its nose against the bathroom door to manage that.  
"Could you not talk to me when I'm trying to take a shower?"  
"Affirmative," the bot agreed, but kept talking anyway. "There are only a few spots left in the basic IT security refresher course that starts tomorrow. May I reserve a spot for you before they run out?"  
"Not affirmative," Richard deadpanned and picked up the body wash bottle. He opened the cap and tilted it- but stopped before anything could pour out. It would be weird to be rubbing soap to anything while talking with the bot.  
"Detective -"  
"What have I told you about talking to me when in the bathroom?"  
"Don't ever fucking do that again you fucking creep or I will rip your batteries out and flush them down the toilet," the MX recited calmly. In Richard's defense, he'd had food poisoning at the time, and the MX had climbed on the toilet seat of the neighboring stall to interview him about his symptoms.  
"You do realize that this is a bathroom," the detective said in a carefully flat tone, frowning at the door.  
The hiss of the shower was too loud for Richard to hear when the MX left, but by the time he stepped out of the bathroom the hallway was empty.

\--  
\--

Richard yawned and padded through the short hallway, finishing buttoning his shirt, and sniffing the air hopefully as he went. When he reached the kitchen he caught a whiff of the unwashed dishes in the sink and grimaced at the pile. The beginnings of his good mood dissipated as fast as his hopes for a fresh cup of coffee.  
The MX must have gotten distracted by the updates and gone to finish them in the living room.  
Richard sighed and went to grab the coffee tin from its usual cupboard. His hands followed trajectories set by hundreds of mornings' worth of repeating the same task- until came the time to open the coffee maker's lid. He swatted at thin air for a second before pausing to look at the empty spot where the coffee maker should have been.  
"MX?"  
The apartment remained silent.  
He dumped the coffee measure back in the tin and abandoned it all on the counter next to the dishes. The detective marched into the hallway and peeked into the living room, but the MX was nowhere to be seen. Had it left without saying anything? A day ago Richard wouldn't have even considered it a possibility, but that was before he'd had the bot appear at his doorstep; if the MX was free to come visit him without a warning, why would there be any restrictions to it leaving without a warning?  
He should have asked it to wait in the living room. _What have I told you about talking to me while I'm in the bathroom?_ What was he, twelve? The detective dug the heels of his palms to his temples and took a deep breath. At the exhale he hung his head, letting his arms fall limp at his sides.  
"Sir -"  
Richard spun around and nearly punched the MX in his surprise. Lucky for the bones in his hand, his brain caught up before he broke anything against the jaw of the tall, fair and creeping bot. The only thing hurt was his pride as he stared at the bot with his eyes wide as saucers and his fists lifted in a defensive position.  
"Jesus Christ!" Richard hissed at the bot, shaking a fist in the android's face. "Don't -" he begun reprimanding it for sneaking up on him, but the sight of the bleach bottle the MX was holding bothered him into silence.  
The MX had had to go into the utility room to get the bleach. It had gone and opened a closed door without permission, then either done a scan on the whole room or manually opened and peered into all kinds of cabinets and drawers to locate the bleach.  
Now, Richard was only human, so his estimations weren't as precise as an MX's might have been. The detective was approximately 99.99% sure his partner was now better aware of what was stored in the utility room than he was. He was also 120% sure that during its search for bleach, it had found things it was not supposed to know about.  
Things like a collection of empty bottles he'd been meaning to take to a recycling station for God knows how long. Things that, after having been taken out of context, made him look like one sad old bastard. He didn't want anyone to think of him as that, least of all his partner.  
"What are you doing with that," Richard hissed at his nosy MX and grabbed the bleach from its gloveless hands. The liquid splashed around in the bottle cheerfully, giving as much of a care about the detective's mood as the synthetic in front of him.  
"Your coffee maker is unsanitary," the MX said as if this was any reason to go through a man's personal belongings.  
"What the hell are you talking about?" Richard fumed and shoved the bot's firm chest with the bleach bottle. The MX didn't even seem to notice his efforts. It could have at least pretended to be swayed by his outburst- literally or figuratively, Richard wasn't picky.  
"I found traces of harmful bacteria on the surfaces-"  
"Don't you 'harmful bacteria' me- you were supposed to make coffee, not go rummaging through my stuff!" He rammed the bleach bottle to the bot's chest again to drive his point home; the MX grabbed the bottle without moving its eyes from Richard's, and refused to let go when the detective tried to yank the bottle back.  
"I need the bleach for cleaning the coffee maker before I can make the coffee," it said, staring at the struggling detective.  
"You don't have to clean it," Richard insisted, pulling on the bottle with all his might. The MX had to switch a wider, more stable stance to keep the both of them from falling over, but otherwise gave no indication of being affected by the detective's best efforts.  
"It is likely you will lose your balance and hurt yourself if you lose your grip on the bottle."  
"If you'd just let go of it," the detective huffed, "there would be no fear of that happening!"  
"If I let go now, you would surely lose your balance."  
Richard paused to catch his breath and give the MX a withering look. The bot stared calmly back at him without a hint of shame, and he had to roll his eyes to keep from laughing at it.  
"You goddamned wiseass! Just give me that thing, will you?"  
"Negative. I need the bleach to clean the coffee maker," the bot insisted.  
Richard stepped back to scowl at its expressionless face without having to look up its nose.  
"Isn't bleach poisonous anyway?"  
"Bleach can be diluted with water, and the solution may be used for sanitizing plastic and other materials. It is harmless when used according to the instructions."  
Richard raised his eyebrows at the information, but soon schooled his expression into a suitably unimpressed frown and crossed his arms.  
"Did it ever cross your mind to ask me where the bleach was instead of going through my stuff to find it?"  
"You were in a bathroom."  
"You could have waited until I come out!"  
"It was more efficient to search for the bleach by myself."  
"I don't care! You can't go around mapping my home like a crime scene!"  
The MX opened its mouth to comment, but Richard wasn't finished.  
"If you ever go snooping around like that again, I'm _actually_ going to rip out those batteries of yours. Are we clear?"  
"Negative," the bot said without a hint of irony. "Please specify snooping."  
"I'll specify your-" Richard muttered, choking an imaginary neck with his hands. After the ghost victim had been taken care of, he huffed and crossed his arms over his chest.  
"Don't go looking for shit before asking me first!" As soon as he'd said it, he sent a silent prayer to any gods that might've been listening to keep the MX from being a smart-ass about it. If it went and said something like "is there a reason for me to expect to find stool somewhere in your apartment?" Richard would either have to laugh or kick it out the door.  
"I will not look for items in your home without your permission," it said instead, and the detective squinted at it suspiciously. There was nothing happening on its face that he hadn't seen countless times before; lights were blinking on its left cheek and its eyes were fixed on some point in the distance.  
"Is that all? The updates require my attention."  
Richard nodded slowly. "That's all."  
The bot only stood there holding the near-empty bottle of cheap bleach.  
"The updates require my attention," the MX repeated, focusing the gaze of its odd blue eyes on Richard's face. "May I go to the living room?" The detective blinked back at it, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.  
"Yeah?"  
Despite getting permission to go, the bot remained where it stood. Richard raised his eyebrows at it, which gained him zero reaction.  
The MX stared at him. He stared back at it. If they had been in one of those old western movies, there might have been crickets chirping in the distance and possibly some unexplained tumbleweed blowing past them. Not that there was room for much anything to pass; while Richard filled the doorway with his smaller frame quite well, the MX completely blocked the way out of the living room with its broad shoulders and wide stance. If the imaginary tumbleweed was small and clever it might make it through by rolling past between their feet.  
Ah.  
Richard backed away the needed few steps into the living room to allow for the MX to pass. The bot could have gone on to command the entertainment system with gestures or to set fire to Richard's sofa for all he knew; he was too busy ducking away into the kitchen to register what he was leaving behind.

\-----  
\-----

After noticing the mess of screws and plastic parts on his kitchen table, Richard soon put one and two together and figured out where his coffee maker had gone. Putting the coffee maker's parts together proved to be a much longer process.  
The MX joined him in the kitchen, announcing that the updates were finished, but the bot was of absolutely no use. No matter how the detective growled and complained, the synthetic didn't help him with reassembling his coffee maker; for each angry curse Richard threw at the bot he only received words like "unsanitary" and "health hazard" over and over as a reply. When he tried to fix it himself, the MX blocked his way to the knives so he didn't have anything to use for turning the screws.  
Richard was getting increasingly angry and depressingly hungry. He felt like he hadn't had coffee in a decade, and the MX just kept going on about "traces of potentially harmful bacteria".

"I. DON'T. CARE! PUT IT BACK TOGETHER!"  
"Sir, I cannot let you use the coffee maker before it has been properly sanitized. It's a health hazard."  
"You broke it and you're going to put it back together! Get to it!"  
"I'm sorry, but it must be cleaned properly before reassembly."  
"Fine! Clean it!"

But the sink was full of dishes, so they had to clear it out first. Richard would have been content simply moving the mess out of the way, but he knew the MX was just itching to say it; its expression hadn't changed and it wasn't giving him any look whatsoever, but Richard was sure it was ready and waiting; "unsanitary" was right at the tip of its tongue with "health hazard" ready to be aired right after it.  
Richard gave up.  
He washed the dishes while the MX dried them and put them away as instructed. After all had been cleaned, they left the coffee maker's parts to sit in a sinkful of water and a bit of bleach. In the minutes the MX insisted on waiting for the parts to be "sanitized", Richard made a sandwich. The MX fished out the coffee maker's parts and started rinsing and drying them; Richard gobbled down his food and supervised the bot's work.  
The MX worked the parts like it had been made to assemble coffee makers, and the detective reasoned trying to help would only slow it down. After he'd finished the sandwich, he distracted himself from asking stupid questions by picking up a cloth.  
Even with the MX's calculated efficiency, Richard ran out of things to wipe in the kitchen by the time the coffee maker was back together in one piece. He moved on to sweeping the floor as they waited for the coffee to brew; and having a kitchen floor sized like a single bed, Richard was soon forced to continue his sweeping in another room.  
When the MX appeared at his side with a cup of coffee in one hand and a sandwich in the other, Richard had just finished with the living room. He gladly abandoned the broom and dustpan combo in a corner and thanked the MX for the offerings. The sandwich was identical to the one he had made himself earlier the morning, and the coffee was black with two sugars in it. Richard couldn't have done better himself and said as much; the MX didn't acknowledge the compliment at all, only settled on one end of the couch while Richard collapsed on the other.  
After the first long sip of coffee, Richard leaned back into the cushions and enjoyed the quiet calm that settled over them like a warm blanket.  
The MX surprised him by asking to turn on the TV, and the detective was too curious to see what it wanted to watch to refuse. It picked an old documentary about animals gone extinct decades ago. One of the stars of the show was the same species as the smiling slab of fat and fur Richard had for a welcome screen background on the entertainment system. The seal looked just as happy on video as it did in the still picture.

\-----  
\-----

"Detective Paul," called the stern voice from Richard's right. The detective grumbled and rubbed at his eyes, frowning as he realized the bot was on the wrong side of him.  
If he had fallen asleep, the MX should have been on his left in the driver's seat. Richard pried his eyes open, but it only served to disorient him more, as the first thing he could see wasn't the patrol car's windshield or even his desk at the precinct. There were three women dancing on the living room wall, twitching along to some silent music and throwing fierce looks at the camera.  
"May I go look for a blanket?"  
Richard rubbed a cold hand across his face, wiping away the remnants of sleep as well as he could. He yawned so wide he could hear his jaw pop, then settled into staring blankly at the screen. The lady dancing in the middle was obviously Beyoncé, but Richard had to admit he wasn't sure which song's music video it was. The costumes looked a bit like swimsuits...  
"Sir?"  
Richard tore his eyes away from the rhythmic twitching to blink slowly at his partner. "Hmmh?"  
"May I retrieve a blanket from the bedroom?"  
Richard yawned and stretched out his arms and legs, ending up as a loose collection of limbs all over his end of the sofa. Beyoncé and her dancer girls were paying a lot of attention to their hands. It seemed important. Did she have a song about hands? Slapping? Wearing weird metallic hand guards?  
Richard squinted at his own hand. Back at the women. At his hand again.  
"The ring!" He blurted out, sitting up on the sofa and pointing at the screen. "Single Ladies!"  
The MX glanced at the screen before resuming staring at Richard blankly.  
"No?" He frowned at the women and rubbed at his jaw. Richard could have sworn it was the song! The rhythm matched _Single Ladies_ perfectly if he looked at the screen and imagined the beat in his head.  
"I have no information on those women's marital status."  
Richard slapped a hand to his forehead. "No, I meant the song! It's..."  
The MX stared at him.  
"Never mind," he said with a roll of his eyes and slumped back against the sofa. Beyoncé and the crew were just finishing up. The retro music channel's information box read next up was _If I Were A Boy_ ; were they having a Beyoncé music video marathon? Why hadn't Richard been informed about this?  
"Do I have your permission to go looking for a blanket?"  
Richard frowned at his partner. His own feet were a little cold and the blood circulation in his arms had dropped while he'd dozed off, but the bot couldn't get cold.  
"What do you need a blanket for?"  
"Nothing," the MX admitted, making the detective's frown grow that much deeper. "I would have used it to cover you, but it's no longer relevant now that you are awake and your body temperature is stabilizing."  
Richard hid his face in his hands and took a deep breath. It turned into an incredulous snort of a laugh on its way out. "You woke me up to ask for a blanket so I could sleep?"  
"There are no blankets in this room and I'm not allowed to go looking for one without permission. I would have preferred not to wake you, but your body temperature was dropping."  
"You should have woken me up anyway." The detective yawned and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and scrubbing at his face.  
"May I go looking for a blanket if you fall asleep again?"  
"I'm not going to fall asleep again," Richard decided and got to his feet to make his point. He rolled his shoulders, then stretched his neck by turning his head from one side to the other.  
"So are you going to show me that game or do you want to take a nap too?" Richard flashed a grin at his partner, but the bot wasn't in on the joke and cast a calculating glance to the couch. A single red dot of light blinked at the scar-like curve at its right temple.  
"The MX can't nap. Did you mean for me to charge?"  
"Just show me how to work the game, battery man."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta work done by [jjjat3am](http://jjjat3am.tumblr.com) and [Cheesecake12](http://cheesecake12.tumblr.com) <3 I love you <3

"The effect is best when all possible light sources are blocked in the room," the MX explained as if Richard hadn't known as much himself. The detective hadn't used the setup for gaming, but nobody in their right mind would save up for such an expensive system if they hadn't any use for it.  
The room was nearly empty, giving the impression he'd only just moved in to the apartment and hadn't had time to decorate it. The truth was he'd left it as it was on purpose. When he wanted to watch a movie, the space could be turned into a three dimensional canvas for all his favorite films to fill; and when he was trying to figure out a difficult case or a personal matter, he could write and hang notes in the air and walk around them. Connecting and reassembling things on the surfaces the projectors created for him felt much more natural to him than sitting at a desk, scribbling on a static screen.  
"Before the game starts, the system will scan the physical environment to calculate adjustments to the projections. All light visible to the human eye will be turned off, and you will not be able to see anything for approximately three seconds."  
As the MX talked, it walked over to the couch and pushed it back before Richard had the chance to offer his help with it. The android didn't pause to notice his frown but moved on to flick off the lights. Richard blinked at his bot in the darkness broken only by the neutral blue sheen of the entertainment system's control panel.  
"After the startup process the game will give you all the instructions you will need. When you are ready to start, go to menu, select 'external media', and select the game."  
Richard raised an eyebrow at the instructions but opened the menu with a swipe of a hand. He had tried this before, and the system had thrown him right back to the welcome screen without any explanation of what had happened.  
As his hand hovered over the incorporeal button for "start Pokémon Blood Orange," a beam of light jumped into the room from behind him.  
"I hope you will find the game enjoyable," the bot said, fully opening the door to the lit hallway.  
"Where do you think you're going?" The detective asked, squinting at his partner. The MX paused, turning back around to regard him with an impassive stare.  
"My presence here is no longer required," it said, its pale hand still resting on the door handle. "I will return to the charging bay."  
"I thought you'd stay and play with me," the detective blurted out. It stopped the MX from taking off, but Richard had to hide his embarrassment by scowling at it. "Shouldn't you at least stay to make sure the thing actually works?"  
The darkness of the living room made the single dot of red light at the MX's temple impossible to ignore. Richard crossed his arms and shifted his weight from foot to foot as he waited for the bot to arrive at a conclusion.  
"No one is requesting my presence at the precinct at this time." The light at its temple flickered off. "I may stay until 1am or for as long as my charge allows it."  
"I was thinking more like a couple of hours," Richard said, rolling his eyes. He fiddled with the cuffs of his sleeves as he turned towards the entertainment system's controls.  
"What happens at 1am, though? You got a curfew?" The detective smirked at the idea of his partner sneaking back to the charging bay only to have the supervising technician waiting there for its return. _"Where have you been? You're over 2 minutes late! Consider yourself grounded!" "Ma'am -" "Don't you ma'am me, young man!"_  
"Negative. I have to leave at 1am at the latest to ensure I have sufficient time to recharge before your next shift."  
Richard nodded, not bothering to fully wipe the smile off his face as he glanced at the bot over his shoulder. "So are you going to close the door or what?"  
The MX stepped back into the living room and shut the door with a quiet thud.  
Hovering in the air in front of Richard was a menu featuring only three items: "back", "add a device", and "start Pokémon Blood Orange." He wouldn't have needed the MX's earlier instructions to figure out which one to press.  
The speakers let out a cheerful clink to inform him that the command had been registered. After the menu blinked out, they were left in the complete darkness the MX had warned him about.  
"Three seconds, right?" The detective checked, straightening the cuffs of his sleeves. He'd forgotten his wristwatch on the bedside table in his haste to get dressed.  
The MX had just finished saying "affirmative" when the darkness was broken by a spark of white light. As Richard squinted at it, it expanded into a logo and a line of text- something about copyrights the detective didn't bother reading. Pompous music filled the darkness as the logos faded out, and the next thing he knew there was light flooding in from everywhere. He blinked rapidly in his attempt to adjust to the change in environment.  
Richard couldn't make out the edges of his living room no matter how much he squinted at his colorful surroundings. The bright blue sky reached past the mountains in the horizon on one side and mixed into the seemingly endless forests on the other. A gentle breeze swayed the grass and flowers at his feet in even sweeps. It was all too perfect and smooth to be realistic, but it would have made a great backdrop for a reimagination of that _The Hills Are Alive_ scene from _The Sound of Music_.  
Engrossed in the beautiful scenery the detective drew in a deep breath- then huffed it out with a snort of laughter. The illusion was impressive but limited to things he could see and hear; he'd still have to get well outside the city if he wanted to fill his lungs with fresh mountain air.  
Richard was so busy marveling at the bright colors and flawless flowers he nearly fell over in his surprise when the game title jumped at him out of nowhere. As he willed his hammering heart to calm down, he looked around frantically for any other flying objects intent on giving him a heart attack.  
He froze as his eyes eyes settled on the spot he'd last seen his partner.  
"MX?"  
"Sir," came the immediate reply. Richard blinked in the general direction of the voice and shifted on his feet.  
"I can't see you," he complained, frowning at one of the mountains for lack of anything bot-shaped to aim his words at. "Why can't I see you?"  
"I'm too far from the center of the room. The game treats me as an object, like the couch," the MX explained. Judging by the direction of the sound, Richard moved his eyes a mountain to the left.  
"Well get over here! I want to see who I'm talking to," the detective insisted. He felt ridiculous talking to a mountain.  
"Are you certain? The game-"  
"Yes! Come here and let's get started!" Richard gestured for the bot to get closer.  
The mountain scenery rippled, and a flickering shape appeared on the grass. It started out wide and formless but soon shrank into the right proportions; by the second step the MX took, the flickering camouflage projected on it faded out to reveal the synthetic's serious face and masculine frame in all their glory. As the bot stood by Richard's side, the rendering of the flowers caught up and hid its feet and half of its calves with a veil of colorful petals.  
A thin blue strand of light shot out from the MX's temple and expanded into a small tag. It hung above the bot's head like a low level threat warning in a security camera feed.  
"Player two, hm?" Richard read aloud, smiling lopsidedly. "Does that make me player one?"  
"You are player one," the MX agreed after glancing at something- most likely another tag- above Richard's head. When he tried to have a look at his own tag, he only saw the vast blue sky and a flock of strange birds passing by.  
"You should select 'New game'," the MX said, drawing Richard's attention from the weird avians.  
"Well look who's excited," he smirked, but did as he'd been told.  
The afternoon sky transformed to a night one, and within seconds the darkness took over again. Richard sighed.  
"Does it black out like this every time I do something?" He looked in the bot's general direction, unable to see a thing until the MX's cheek lit up. For the moment it was visible, it almost looked like it had christmas lights in its mouth.  
"The darkness indicates the game is in the process of loading the next scene," the bot explained. Before either had time to say more, the scenery changed to an empty lab room and an orotund female voice piped up.  
"Good morning!" The woman begun, and Richard sent out a silent prayer the voice would stop talking sooner rather than later. "Before you can start playing Pokémon Blood Orange, your game will have to be activated online. Is it okay for the game to be registered to the media access account currently in use, owned by Paul, Richard?"  
Richard glanced to the MX. It didn't warn him against it, so he went with "Yes."  
"Your game has been activated! Thank you for your patience." Richard rolled his eyes at the disgustingly cheerful voice but kept his mouth shut. The MX didn't seem to mind the announcer's overly happy tones.  
"Welcome to the world of Pokémon! I am Ava. You may refer to me by this name or assign me a new name through the menu. This is the menu." A menu appeared in front of Richard, and an identical one floated next to the MX. "You may call it up by saying 'show menu' or using the menu gesture." Richard frowned at the words "menu gesture" but didn't ask what it meant. The menus disappeared and the voice kept going.  
"Would you like to hear an introduction to the rest of the commands?"  
"No," Richard answered truthfully, glad to be able to do at least that much with utter certainty.  
"Sir -" the MX begun, but Ava talked right over the bot's protests. Richard bit his lip to keep from smiling too obviously at the well timed interruption.  
"Would you like to hear a little about the world of Pokémon before we start?"  
"No." The MX was staring at him. Richard offered it a shrug and a grin before stuffing his hands in his pockets.  
"Very well. I detect two active players in the room. Is this correct?"  
"That's correct."  
"Sir, your answer was incorrect," the bot complained at the same time as Ava okayed Richard's answer with another "Very well".  
"What are you talking about, player two? You've got a tag and everything," Richard teased.  
The MX said something, but unfortunately Ava chose the same moment to continue her ramblings and easily boomed over the bot's modulated tone. "I'm not pro toupee" was all Richard could patch together from the bits he heard of the MX's words.  
Both the bot and the game voice stopped talking nearly at the same time. The ensuing silence was broken only by the sound of Richard's breathing and the subtle hum of electronics.  
"...What?" Richard asked, triggering both artificial intelligences into repeating their words. The detective closed his eyes and embraced his regret while the cacophony of the two voices assaulted his ears.  
The sounds stopped.  
Richard tentatively opened his eyes to find the room had gone dull and gray around them. Everything had become half-transparent, making for a surreal mix of two overlapping spaces. He could see the outlines of his own living room through the incorporeal lab they were in in the game world. There was a massive flag of "PAUSE" hanging in the air above the lab table.  
"How'd you do that?" Richard wondered, raising an eyebrow at the MX. It stared back at him as blankly as it always did.  
"I used the command 'Pause game', which you would have known about if you had listened to the instructions." Richard studied the transparent tiling of the lab floor and scratched the back of his head.  
"Please select exit game and start over." The detective's gaze jumped back to the bot's serious face.  
"What?"  
"You can't undo the answers you have already given," the MX explained, only adding to the detective's confusion. "You should go back and listen to all the instructions. Please tell the system that there is only one player present."  
"I don't know if you started counting with 'me' or what the problem is, but you clearly messed up since there's two of us here."  
"There is only one player present. I'm not programmed to play games. I can't play with you."  
The first and last time anyone had said the words "I can't play with you" to Richard unironically was when he'd been eight years old. He'd made a friend of a chrome and gotten the both of them in some kind of trouble he couldn't remember anymore. They had only known each other for a week, but the boy had been smart, foul-mouthed and funny to a fault; when he'd said those words and left him alone in that playground, Richard had watched him go and wondered if this was what Mom meant when she said that every time she heard a young boy swear her heart broke a little, because Richard had just heard a young boy say the most horrible thing and there was definitely something breaking in his chest.  
"What does it matter what you're programmed to do?" Richard growled at the impassive bot. "I doubt you're programmed to make coffee or force people to clean their coffee makers or... or sit around in living rooms either!"  
"All those things are subroutines of domestic care. There are no routines for playing video games available."  
Richard huffed and crossed his arms, turning to frown at the bolded PAUSE hanging in the air just out of his reach. There was a small menu with the buttons "Continue", "Save game" and "Exit game" right under it. The programmers hadn't bothered with a "Delete MX-176's routine for being an uptight ass"-button, so Richard left the menu alone.  
"You could at least try it, you know." The MX was staring at the far wall when he turned back towards it. "I'm not programmed to play games either."  
"Humans aren't programmed to do anything."  
"Are you being a dunce on purpose?" The MX had enough sense or confusion in it not to answer the irritated detective's question. Richard put his hands on his hips and stepped right in front of the MX, peering angrily up at its eyes. "I didn't hear you complain about your programming when we first started up this game. What are you freaking out about now?"  
"I tried to warn you the game would interpret me as a player if I got close enough for it to register my presence in the room. Instead of listening, you said 'Yes! Come here and let's get started'." Richard winced, half at the fair accusation and half at having to hear the sound of his own voice through the MX.  
"Well," he started, but there weren't any words that didn't sound suspiciously defensive or aggressive, and neither felt appropriate for the situation. Richard let his gaze fall from the bot's face to give some rest to his bent neck and hide some parts of his undoubtedly pathetic expression in the process. He didn't feel like playing much of anything anymore.  
"There are no existing routines to handle playing games, but it may be possible to create an experimental routine for this purpose."  
Richard flicked his eyes up to meet the bot's neutral stare.  
"The new routine would have to be stored privately on the backup data block with your preference files because experimental routines are not allowed to exist in public server space. Would that be acceptable?"  
Richard had plenty of space left on his slot at the police server, so it wouldn't be a problem if the MX started using it to store whatever data it needed to keep. Still...  
"'Experimental' doesn't sound very safe," the detective pointed out, challenging the MX to disagree by lifting an eyebrow at it.  
"It is safe," it said simply. Richard waited, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. The bot didn't elaborate.  
The detective sighed and turned around to pace the room. He could only take a few steps before hitting a wall, so he compensated for the lack of space by taking shorter steps and moving slowly.  
"How come I've never heard of these things before?" He paused inside a lab cabinet at the other end of the room.  
"There has been no reason to bring it up."  
Richard turned and headed to another corner of the room, studying the MX's face as he went.  
"Have you tried it before?"  
"Affirmative."  
The detective stopped.  
"Didn't you just say those routines couldn't be stored in public space?"  
"Affirmative. Experimental routines are not allowed in public server space where other MXs might access them."  
"But you can't create any routines inside my backup data block without asking me first, right?"  
"I cannot access your private server space without your permission for any purpose other than updating your preference files."  
Richard set his jaw and crossed his arms. The MX saved all case-related data on the police servers where all MXs and officers could access it when needed while things like how not to piss their particular partner off were stored in the partner's 'preference files'. As far as Richard knew the MX didn't have any personal, not-tied-to-their-body storage space outside of what their partners provided them.  
"You haven't made any routines in my storage space, but you've made at least one routine before. Where the hell did you store it and what was it for?"  
"The experimental routine I created is stored in the private file space of detective Kennex." Richard ground his teeth to keep from interrupting the explanation. "The routine was made for knitting."  
The detective stared at his partner, opening and closing his mouth as he tried to sort through the questions that the new information brought up. He desperately wanted to know why an MX would decide to pick up knitting of all things, but when he went to ask about it, what came out of his mouth wasn't exactly what he'd planned to open with.  
"Kennex?" Richard griped, making a sour face at the mere thought of the other detective. "Out of all people in the precinct it had to be John _goddamned_ Kennex?"  
"It was the most convenient option," the MX claimed, and Richard bristled at its words.  
"I would've given you whatever space you needed if you'd just asked," Richard fumed, both palms heavenwards like a silent prayer or a sign of surrender. "You never even told me you wanted to pick up knitting!"  
"I started knitting to obtain money for the game I bought you, and DRN-0167 said you might enjoy it more if it were a surprise. If you had been alerted to the experimental routine I was to create, you would have deduced the reason behind it, thus making it impossible to surprise you with the gift."  
Richard cursed under his breath and took off pacing the room once more. After the third lap he stopped in front of the MX, stared at its expressionless face until the urge to punch something became too great, and started walking again.  
"He could have blown your head off," he muttered, turning sharply to head for the next corner of the small living room. "Nevermind that he's the biggest fucking asshole on the continent, he could've blown your goddamned head off!"  
"Anyone with a suitable gun could 'blow my head off'," the MX noted. Richard stopped, pulled on a cold smile and turned to glower at his partner.  
"Ha fucking ha," he said in a flat tone. "Have you somehow forgotten how he's shot you before?"  
"Negative. Every officer is given space for storing their preference files, but the DRN models have no use for this space as they do not create preference files. Detective Kennex is the only one in the precinct still partnered with a DRN and the only one who didn't need the space for anything. I would not have used his file space had it not been necessary at the time."  
Richard grit his teeth and tried to focus on his breathing. In and out. In and out.  
"You actually went and asked him for permission to use his storage space and he just rolled with it?"  
"It was not necessary to ask him directly. DRN-0176 has access to the file space and encouraged me to use it."  
The detective forgot about the breathing exercise as he considered the MX's words.  
"Wait, if you got the access from Dorian, does Kennex even know you're using his space?"  
"I have no information on the matter," the android announced and turned to study the menu screen.  
"...Does that mean you don't want to tell me or that you don't know?"  
"I have never discussed it with detective Kennex. I do not know if he has been informed of the fact that I am using his file space to store my knitting routine, but I assure you he has never prohibited me from using it."  
Richard could only gape at his partner. The MX stared resolutely at the menu, seemingly not noticing the human goggling at it. The detective eventually closed his mouth, swallowed, then opened his mouth again to verbally work through the thoughts flying around his head.  
"So, I.. Let me get this straight," he started, blinking rapidly and frowning at the floor.  
"You've been using Kennex's file space behind his back... to store a knitting routine, which you needed to make money so you could... buy me a game?"  
He looked up, and the bot was still stuck staring at the menu buttons. A red light ran up its face, all the way from its jaw to the hairline at its forehead.  
"Essentially," it said after a long pause. The gleeful flutter in Richard's chest was gaining strength at a dizzying speed, and his face broke into a terrible, terrible grin.  
"You actually managed to screw him over _and_ get me a gift at the same time?"  
The bot refused to look at him, as if the menu were something interesting to stare at. If Richard hadn't known better, he would have said it was nervous or ashamed; since he did know better, he would have guessed it was trying to determine if there were problems with the entertainment system's shaders.  
"That's-" the detective begun, but the disbelieving laugh that escaped him described his thoughts on the matter much better than any words he could've come up with. He shook his head, smiling at the floor, walls, everything his eyes happened to land on. When he returned his gaze to the bot, it was staring back at him, and he felt like his face might split in half from the excessive smiling.  
"Do I have your permission to create the experimental routine, sir?"  
Richard nodded before ducking his head, swiping a hand over his stubborn grin.  
"You create all the experimental routines you want," he beamed at his sneaky partner. The MX didn't respond, but a dozen lights lit its face like a Christmas tree, and it went to staring at the far wall. Richard watched the lights dance across its skin, grinning like an idiot.  
 _"I know that look, Richard,"_ his mother used to say. _"What look?"_ He always responded, though he full well knew what she was talking about, and she didn't doubt it for a second that he did. _"Tell me about her!" "It's not a girl, Mom." "Well, what's he like? Is he handsome?"_  
Oh, mother.  
It's not a man either.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta work done by [jjjat3am](http://jjjat3am.tumblr.com) and [Cheesecake12](http://cheesecake12.tumblr.com) as before, don't forget to check out their stuff!

"Now tell me. Are you a boy? Or are you a girl?"  
Richard was a grown man. He could cook for himself, shave his beard, pay his taxes, and ignore any misplaced tender feelings until they went away, but for all the manly skills he possessed he still didn't know how to react when his very manhood was being questioned.  
"What?"  
"Player one, please tell me. Are you a boy? Or are you a girl?"  
Richard glanced around the dimly lit laboratory the game had put them in but couldn't see anyone but himself and the MX in the room. Ava waited patiently for all of three seconds before repeating the question. With nothing other than the walls to glare at, Richard ignored the voice and turned his attention to the MX.  
The bot's cheek hadn't stopped blinking red since it had been given permission to create a new "experimental routine" to play the game. When it noticed Richard was frowning at it, it turned to stare back at him, impassive as ever.  
"Sir."  
"Do I look like a girl to you?"  
"Negative."  
"Then why is it asking me that?" Richard looked around again but still couldn't find the source of the annoying AI voice. In fact, he couldn't even hear it anymore. Had Ava finally agreed to shut up?  
"Asking for the player's gender and name gives the player the opportunity to present themselves in the game however they want regardless of their legal name and sex. It is a common feature in role-playing games," the android explained. Richard didn't have anything against people cheating games into thinking they were something they were not, but the game could be played online too. He'd been on the force far too long to think that allowing grown men to pose as little girls online was anything but a grave mistake.  
"Player two, please tell me. Are you a boy? Or are you a girl?" The detective raised his eyebrows at the voice. Player two? Richard was player one, not two!  
"I have no gender," the MX said, staring at the far wall of the lab. Richard frowned at his partner, but it ignored him just as Ava had done.  
"Player one, what is your name?"  
"Did you just skip me?" The detective scowled at the ceiling.  
"Right. So your name is 'Did you just skip me?'"  
"No!" Richard groaned, running a hand down his face. "It's Richard!"   
"Player one, what is your name?"  
"Richard!" The detective fumed. He would have loved to explain what he thought Ava was but didn't trust it to understand where his name ended and the commentary began, so he ground his teeth and waited for the AI's reaction.  
Ava repeated his name and asked if it was spelled like it was. Satisfied with Richard's seething "yes," it went on to bother the MX.  
"Player two, what is your name?"  
"I have no name," the android announced. The detective stopped trying to burn holes into the walls with his eyes and settled into staring at the bot beside him.  
"Right. So your name is 'I have no name'?"  
"Negative."  
Richard had tried to name the MX before. He'd been inspired to ask his partner if it would like to have a name too when he'd found out that Valerie had named her MX "Max." Richard wasn't sure what he'd expected, but the only response his bot had been willing to give had been that "the MX do not want things." After a while of trying to coax a proper answer out of the bot, he'd been told to call it whatever he wanted. Richard hadn't felt qualified to make such a big decision for his partner, and when the MX had refused to pick a name for itself the detective had made a point of calling it a synthetic for the rest of the day. It had only made him feel like an asshole, and he'd had to apologize before the end of their shift.  
"Player two, please tell me. Is your name 'I have no name?'"  
"Negative."  
There was another pause, after which Ava simply repeated the question as if it hadn't heard the MX's "negative" at all. The bot repeated its answer, but Ava remained oblivious to the response.  
"The system is working without errors, yet the game cannot register my answer," the android reported, tilting its head back to peer at the ceiling. It was most likely inspecting some part of the entertainment system, though Richard himself couldn't see anything but the lab room projected around them.  
"Player two, please tell me. Is your name 'I have no name?'"  
"Negative."  
Ava didn't respond.  
"Ava, my answer is negative," the android tried, but the AI ignored it.  
"You could try saying 'no' like a normal person," Richard suggested with a quirk of an eyebrow. The lights on the bot's cheek slowed down as it turned to stare at the detective.  
"No," it repeated at him. Richard crossed his arms, ready to defend his idea, but Ava jumped in before he could get a pointless argument started.  
"Player two, what is your name?"  
"I have no name."  
"Right. So your name is 'I have no name'?"  
"No."  
"Player two, what is your name?"  
"I have no name," the bot continued in the same script.  
Richard ran a hand down his face. He'd gone through enough arguments with the MX to know it wouldn't give up easily, and Ava was too simple to get them out of the endless loop of questions they had fallen into. If Richard didn't do something they could be stuck until the MX's charge ran out.  
The detective stepped closer and bumped an elbow to the bot's side to get its attention. It worked, but when the blank blue eyes landed on his, he forgot for a second what he'd been about to say. Ava asked for the bot's name again, and Richard huffed in annoyance.  
"It's just a game, you know," he offered to his partner.  
"I am aware of that."  
"Right. So your name is 'Aware of That?'" Ava chirped.  
"No," the bot said, not moving its eyes from Richard's. The detective shifted on his feet while the game AI asked for the MX's name again.  
"I think you're taking this a bit too seriously," he said when Ava stopped talking, scratching his jaw and studying the patterns of light spread across the MX's face. "Why are you so stuck on how you don't really have a name? It's trying to name you 'I have no name' for Pete's sake! You could tell it to call you Bob or freaking Beyoncé and nobody would give a shit."  
"Which one would you prefer?"  
Richard blinked at his partner. "What-"  
"I'm sorry, but that name is too long. Please-"  
The MX made a pattern in the air with its hand and Ava shut up. The colors faded out, a massive PAUSE appeared in the middle of the room, and they were left in a blessedly quiet half-lab-half-living-room.  
"Which name would you prefer? Bob or Beyoncé?"  
Richard slapped a hand to his forehead and groaned.  
"I didn't mean you should choose Bob or Beyoncé, I meant you should pick any name you like, and it could be anything from Bob to Beyoncé! Not alphabetically, don't even-" Richard huffed and pinched the bridge of his nose, squeezing his eyes shut. "Just pick something so we can move on, alright?"  
When the detective risked a glance to his partner, it was staring back at him in silence. The lights on its face gave the impression it was doing something important like searching for suitable names, so Richard waited for it to arrive at a conclusion.  
Had Richard been the one tasked with giving himself a new name, he'd go online and find a list of the most common names in the area to pick one at random. "Richard" was already quite the common name, so he knew what it would be like; sharing a name with a good portion of the city's population made him harder to track down, and as a nice bonus he never had to spell his name out to anyone who needed to remember it.   
But what name would an android choose for itself? Would it go for one of the most common names or search for something with a meaning behind it? Richard could see his MX naming itself something like Michael or Anthony, but it seemed just as likely it would come up with a completely ridiculous name. Like Bob or Beyoncé.  
"Which name should I choose?" The MX asked. The detective blinked at it.  
"Which names are you choosing from?"  
"You mentioned Bob and Beyoncé," the android said.  
"I thought you were looking for a name online!" He hissed, letting his hands curl into angry fists. The MX's were durable, but Richard wasn't convinced he couldn't turn off a few misguiding lights from his partner's face by punching it repeatedly.  
"You told me to pick any name I like, but the MX do not like things," the android pointed out. "Which names do you like, detective?"  
"It doesn't matter what I like! It's your name, not mine," Richard huffed, crossing his arms and glaring at his partner.  
"Is it more important that I have selected the name than that you are comfortable with the name selected?"  
Richard narrowed his eyes at the bot.  
"It's more important that _you're_ comfortable with it; it's _your_ name."  
"It's not possible for an MX to be comfortable or uncomfortable with anything," the android insisted. The detective gave it a withering look, but since it wasn't possible for an MX to be uncomfortable with his glaring it stared back at him, blank as ever. "Sir, you are the only one who may have a problem with the name. Having you select the name would ensure all parties are satisfied with the decision."  
"Fine!" Richard announced, lifting both hands up in surrender. "How does Goddamned Synthetic Twat sound to you?"  
"It has too many characters in it," the MX answered without missing a beat.  
Richard closed his eyes and took a deep breath. What was the penalty for destroying a human shaped piece of expensive police equipment? Nothing if you happened to be a Kennex- and wasn't that a heartwarming thought. Richard grit his teeth and glared at the floor.  
"Would Bob Beyoncé be acceptable?"  
As he looked up the android was staring at him, not a hint of a smile or a frown on its light-speckled face.  
"Bob Beyoncé," the detective repeated in a flat tone.  
"It is not Bob or Beyoncé, and it is something I chose myself," the MX explained.  
"How is it choosing yourself if you're just using both the names I mentioned?"  
"Bob Beyoncé is a different name from both Bob and Beyoncé," the bot argued. The detective brought up a hand to massage his temples and block his view of the MX. He'd never get a straight answer out of the android like this.  
"Is the name acceptable?"  
"It's ridiculous," Richard sighed, letting his arms fall limp at his sides. "But you don't really care, do you?"  
The MX considered its answer for a moment, as if it were so difficult to decide between "negative" and "the MX do not care about things."  
"Negative," it said eventually. "The MX do not care about things."  
Richard snorted, shaking his head in disbelief. "You're a goddamned idiot," he said, more tired than anything else.  
"Would Goddamned Idiot be a better name than Bob Beyoncé?"  
The detective rolled his eyes and scowled through the smirk that was fighting to form on his face. "Did you make another experimental routine just for sassing me?"  
"Negative. Was I supposed to?"  
Richard huffed out a laugh and shook his head. "You're too much of a wiseass as is! Where would I be if you started doing it on purpose?"  
"It would not affect your location."  
"And there you go again," the detective announced, rolling his eyes theatrically.  
"I am not going anywhere," the MX remarked. Richard ducked his head to buy some time to clear his face of the smirk before willing on a stern expression.  
"Oh you're going- straight out that door if you don't stop with the back talk soon," he warned, pointing at the exit in question. The MX glanced at the door over its shoulder before resuming its staring at the detective.  
Richard put his hands on his hips and cocked his head to one side, raising an eyebrow in challenge. The bot wisely refrained from commenting.  
"Alright," the detective hummed, giving the bot one last, speculative glance before turning towards the center of the room. The pause menu waited for the players, its buttons brighter than anything else in the room.  
"How do we get back to the game? Just press 'continue,' right?"  
"Affirmative," the MX answered just as Richard tapped on the button. The menu blinked out and the colors returned, solidifying the environment and blocking Richard's living room from view.  
"- try again," Ava finished the sentence it had started minutes earlier. It didn't pause before repeating: "Player two, what is your name?"  
"Bob Beyoncé," the android said. Richard stared at a far corner of the room and shifted on his feet.  
"Right. So your name is 'Bob Beyoncé'?"  
The MX turned to Richard, and for a moment he thought it expected him to object. It wouldn't have made any sense considering the MX wouldn't have given a damn if it had been named something even more ridiculous. Richard kept his mouth shut and raised his eyebrows expectantly, silently urging the android to get on with it.  
"Player two, please tell me. Is your name 'Bob Beyoncé?'"  
"Affirmative. Yes," the bot said and went back to staring at a wall. Richard watched the lights crawl across the side of its face while Ava continued pestering them with more of its overly cheerful tones.  
"Richard! Bob Beyoncé! Your very own Pokemon legend is about to unfold! A world of dreams and adventures awaits! Let's go!"

As soon as Ava stopped talking the door to the lab was slammed open. The space flooded with sunlight so authentic that for a second Richard expected to be warmed by it.  
"Ah, there you are," said the dark shape in the doorway. The back lighting dimmed down, allowing Richard to distinguish the shape as a kind looking older woman in a lab coat. Her cartoony face was framed with curly black hair that reached her shoulders, and she was carrying a massive metal case with ease that suggested she was either impossibly strong or it had nothing but styrofoam in it.  
"Why are you standing here in the dark? You're not doing anything weird, are you?" She didn't wait for an answer before hitting a switch on the wall, turning on the rest of the lights in the room and causing Richard to wince and shield his eyes from the renewed brightness. The woman shut the door behind her with a kick and marched towards the players, oblivious to or uncaring of the way the detective glared at her.  
"I'm so happy you finally passed the trainer exam! It's been too long since I got to send a good team of fledgeling Pokemon masters out into the world!" As she came to a stop on the other side of the empty table in front of the players, Richard noticed the laminated tag attached to her lab coat, featuring both name and title. "Professor Hackberry" swung her briefcase in the air and crashed it to the table with a loud bang.  
"Oops. Sorry! It's not broken!" Hackberry reassured them, but she had to check the table for damages before her smile was anywhere near convincing. Richard cast a glance to his partner, but the MX was too busy staring at the woman to notice his unimpressed looks.  
"Have you already decided on which Pokemon you want to take?" She asked with a pleasant smile. She opened the case with practiced ease and turned it towards the players.  
The case was lined with foam rubber and held three round objects. With the bright coloring they could have been candy or toys, but the case made Richard rule that out as a possibility. Bombs? Or maybe ammunition for some weird weapon? Then again the game was supposed to be suitable for children, so the items couldn't be anything too dangerous.  
"You can bring up the information of each Pokemon by touching its Pokeball."  
Richard raised a questioning eyebrow first at the lady, then at the bot on his right. Neither of the two reacted in any way. Richard sighed and stepped forward, reaching for the nearest "Pokeball." When his hand reached the point of contact, the ball moved slightly as if he had truly touched it. Richard tried poking at it again, nodding in approval when it twitched in a believable way under his fingertips.  
"Pretty realistic for a children's game," he admitted. He tried nudging the case too, just to see what would happen, but his hand phased right through the material and he gave up after a few attempts. As he lifted his gaze his eyes caught on the transparent screen hovering above the case. There was a monochromatic, three-dimensional image of some kind of a lizard projected next to the text panels. The creature was curled up into a ball like a lazy cat, its eyes closed and sides rising and falling in a peaceful rhythm. It was smiling despite its tail being on fire.  
"When you have decided on which Pokemon you want to take with you, just pick up its Pokeball," Hackberry instructed. Richard ignored her and tried poking the dumb looking dinosaur, but his hand went through the creature's pudgy foot without stirring it. The detective masked his disappointment at not being to able to wake it up by scowling at it.  
"That's Charmander," the MX announced, making Richard turn to regard it with a raised eyebrow. The bot stepped closer, nearly brushing against his shoulder as it reached for the screen floating in front of them. "The manual says each Pokemon is different, but you can find the basic stats here," it said, bringing up a tab filled with numbers.  
"Uh-huh," Richard hummed, barely glancing at the figures before flipping back to the first tab. He didn't know what SP.DEF meant, but he could read and understand most of the things on the first page of information. It appeared the Pokemon was "Charmander", its type was "fire," and in the _additional information_ box was the text "The fire on the tip of its tail is a measure of its life. If healthy, its tail burns intensely."  
Richard shook his head and poked at the next Pokeball in line, bringing up an image and the information of... a turtle. Squirtle. It was asleep just like the previous reptile, and it had water listed for a type instead of fire.  
"It shelters itself in its shell, then strikes back with spouts of water at every opportunity," Richard read aloud from the info screen. "Shouldn't this one have water flowing from its tail to show it's healthy?" The MX didn't seem to find his remark amusing, but it wasn't like the detective had been expecting a reaction so he didn't look disappointed when he received none.  
Moving on to the next Pokemon Richard found it didn't have much of a tail at all. Considering how the type was "grass", it didn't make much sense to him that it had an onion growing from its back instead of actual grass. "Bulbasaur" could have passed for a very strange dog had it been completely covered in blades of grass like thick strands of fur, but as it was it didn't resemble any animal Richard knew.  
Did the massive onion on its back mean the creature had roots crawling inside its spine? Richard had seen corpses with plants embedded in various parts of their bodies, and it wasn't something he liked to be reminded of. He poked one of the other Pokeballs and crossed his arms, turning away from the screen to peer up at his partner.  
"Which one am I supposed to pick? I'm not even sure what we need them for," he admitted with a huff. The bot's face was still holding a light show as it studied the turtle creature on display.  
"The game manual states all three have strengths and weaknesses, and start at the same level," the MX told him after a pause. "Your starter Pokemon will travel with you for the length of the game unless you replace it with another Pokemon. Would you like to exit the game and start over? You would benefit from listening through the instructions instead of skipping them."  
Richard tilted his head and cast a mock-contemplative glance to the far left corner of the room.  
"Nah." He shrugged and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "I've already got an AI to tell me what to do, and this one isn't a complete moron _like some others_ ," Richard announced, aiming his last words towards the ceiling. He smirked at the bot, but when the MX looked back at him he dodged its gaze and went to staring at the sleeping turtle.  
The Pokemon's tail twitched and it stretched its pudgy limbs out, yawning impossibly wide before settling back into fetal position . Sleeping while hovering in the air had never looked so comfortable.  
"So, which one-" Richard covered his yawn with a hand. "Which one are you going to take?" The MX turned to regard him with a blank stare, which the detective returned with raised eyebrows.  
"Sir -" the MX stopped talking abruptly, and for a split-second it looked like it was frowning. Richard rubbed his eyes to clear out the drowsiness he'd caught from the slumbering turtle. When his eyes refocused on the bot its expression was as neutral as ever.  
"You may choose for me as well as for yourself. I have no preference," the MX declared.  
The detective huffed out a deep sigh. "No, of course you don't. The MX do not have preferences," he muttered, running a hand down his face.   
"That is correct," the bot announced and brought up Charmander's information again. It moved on to the next Pokemon immediately after the first's data was displayed on the screen. Richard gave up trying to read the screens in favor of following the movement of the android's hand as it tapped its way through each Pokemon's info screens.  
"The forums suggest that all three Pokemon are equally matched and that there is no reason to believe one Pokemon is better than the others" the MX announced as it withdrew its hand from the controls, leaving the onion Pokemon's information screen visible. "The nature and training of the Pokemon will affect the final stats of the Pokemon, but as you may have noticed Bulbasaur has, by default, the highest amount of points spread across the six skill categories." The MX turned its head to regard the frowning detective. "If the total amount of possible points were the deciding factor, it would be best to select Bulbasaur and Squirtle."  
"But that's Bulbasaur," Richard noted, pointing at the sleeping onion creature and scrunching his nose. "And Squir-dough is the turtle, right?" That would mean the fire lizard was out of the question- which Richard didn't really care about, but anything had to be better than the onion thing.  
"Squirtle," the MX corrected him.  
"Yeah, that one, it's a turtle."  
"Squirtle is a Tiny Turtle Pokemon."  
"Tiny?" Richard repeated, frowning at his partner. The projection looked like what the detective would call a normal sized turtle. He'd never stopped to consider the possibility they were much smaller than the ghost-like projection, but if the actual Pokemon were hiding inside the balls they would have to be ridiculously small.  
"It says Tiny Turtle on the information," the MX explained and reached over to bring up the first screen of Bulbasaur's information. "Each Pokemon has a species listed like this," it said and pointed at the onion Pokemon's species.  
Richard read the text and snorted.  
"Seed? How is that four-legged onion creeper a _seed_?"  
The MX looked at the incredulous detective, then at the Pokemon.  
"Externally it looks like an animal," the bot agreed, both sides of its face decorated with pulsing red lights. "But I can't get a scan of its internal structures from this projection."   
"You just had to try that, didn't you," Richard mused, shaking his head at the bot as the light show on its cheek subsided into a small, faint swirl of red.  
"When you have decided on which Pokemon you want to take with you, just pick up its Pokeball," Hackberry chimed, startling the detective into flinching away from the sound- and from his partner. He hadn't realized how close he'd been standing until the scare had him jump and nearly hit the bot in the ribs with an elbow. He cleared his throat and went to fiddling with the cuffs of his sleeves.  
"So did you decide on a Pokemon yet?"  
"Negative."  
"I promise I won't tell the other MXs if you pick that onion thing," he offered with a forced smile and a tilt of his head. The MX gave him a blank look.  
"Would you tell someone if I picked Charmander or Squirtle?"  
"Oh I don't think I'm telling anyone about any of this," he muttered, rolling his eyes. "It's bad enough I'm spending my day off playing some children's game, but if the word got out that I'm so pathetic I don't even have anyone besides a bot to play it with, I'd never hear the end of it." Satisfied with the order of the fabric around his wrists, he lowered his hands and stuffed them in his pockets. As he looked up, the MX dodged his gaze to stare at the info screen in front of them.  
"Would it be acceptable if I picked Squirtle?" The bot asked, bringing up the info screen of the Pokemon in question. Richard blinked. The android kept its eyes on the sleeping turtle, and the detective followed its gaze to watch the rise and fall of the creature's shell-covered chest.  
"Squirdoo, huh?" He asked, squinting at the Pokemon.  
"Squirtle. Is it acceptable?"  
"Yeah, of course," Richard hurried to answer before the MX could back out. The MX nodded and reached for the Pokeball, curling its fingers around the red and white orb and lifting it from the case. A cheerful jingle boomed over the speakers and a new menu popped up. Ava read aloud the text on the newly appeared screen.  
"Congratulations, Bob Beyoncé! You just acquired your first Pokemon! Would you like to give it a name?"  
"Yes," the MX answered, and the menu transformed into a blank slate waiting for input.  
Richard blinked at the empty name plate, at his bot, at the old lady. No one else seemed the least bit concerned about the android's nonexistent naming skills.  
"What should we call this Squirtle?" Ava asked politely, and Richard held his breath.  
"Bob Beyoncé," came the grave reply.  
The detective sighed. "Are you kidding?"  
"Negative. I don't have any preferences for names, but it appears Bob Beyoncé is an acceptable name," the bot explained. Richard gawked at it.   
"Is this name correct?" Ava enquired.  
"No! Stop! Pause the game," Richard barked at his MX. The bot didn't as much as blink before the room went oddly gray and transparent. Richard raised an eyebrow at the change but went back to frowning in a beat.  
If the game kept going like this and the MX kept going like this, Richard would soon be in a jungle of a million different Bob Beyoncés. Though he would gladly invite all the Beyoncés his imagination came up with into his daydreams, having a confusing mess of odd creatures that only shared half a name with the past pop sensation jumping at him from all directions was not something he looked forward to.  
"If you don't have any preference, why would you give it a name at all? Just call it Squibble or whatever the species was!" The moment he'd finished saying it, Richard slapped a hand to his forehead and groaned. Yeah, why not name it after the species? A Squibble could be called "Squibble", and _an MX could be called "MX",_ and everyone could live a happy, regret free life because no one would be called Bob Beyoncé.  
The MX tore its eyes from the grayed out name screen to stare at Richard.  
"The right to a name is one of the most fundamental human rights."  
"Yeah okay, but that's a _Pokemon!"_ The detective snapped. "Why would a Pokemon have human rights?  
"I am not human either, yet Ava insisted on naming me just as it insisted on naming you, a human. It appears the game world applies the same laws to all beings in it, both living and artificial. This Pokemon and I have equal rights to having a name."  
Richard gave his partner an unimpressed look. "You're real. The Pokemon is not."  
The MX turned towards the detective, its arms neatly at its sides and its gloveless hands in loose fists. Even without the battle gear it was an impressive sight, but Richard wasn't easily intimidated. He mirrored its rigid pose and put his hands on his hips for emphasis.  
"You're not naming that turtle Bob Beyoncé!"  
"In this game I have been assigned the task of taking care of this Pokemon, and I will do my best to ensure it is treated fairly. Is it not fair to give him a name?"  
"I'm not telling you not to name it, I'm telling you not to name it Bob Beyoncé! You already named yourself Bob Beyoncé; you can't name everything Bob Beyoncé!" Richard huffed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He really needed to stop saying Bob Beyoncé.  
"What name do you suggest I use instead?"  
Richard crossed his arms and scowled at it. "I don't know! I'm not the one who can go online at the blink of an eye to get a list of name suggestions!"  
The blinking of red lights on the MX's cheek intensified for a moment but it was impossible to tell if the bot was searching for names or not. It stared at Richard and said nothing.  
"Why does your face keep flashing like that?" Richard frowned at his partner.  
"I am searching for names," the MX said, earning an exasperated huff from the detective.  
"You've had the lights on since we started playing."  
"I am constantly recording and processing data for the new routine. It's a power heavy process," it explained, turning back towards the grayed out name screen. Richard narrowed his eyes at it.  
"Did you find a name already?"  
"Affirmative. I will name him Paul," it announced and went to tap the button for continue. The detective jumped in to still its hand before it reached its destination.  
"No. There's no way you're naming that turtle after me," he growled, lowering the bot's hand from the panel. The MX didn't resist the movement but turned to stare at their hands until Richard let go and stepped back.  
"It's not unusual to name a child, a pet or a computer program after a close friend or a relative," the MX explained, monitoring the detective's every move as he crossed his arms and shook his head.  
"Can't you pick something else?" The MX didn't look happy with the idea- but then again, it never looked happy with anything.   
"What is wrong with Paul? Is it a ridiculous name?"  
"Hey!" Richard protested. Had he been a few inches taller he would have slapped the back of its head, but he had to work with what he had and was limited to punching it in the arm. The android turned to stare at the point of contact, not looking away even as the detective spoke. "What do you think would happen if you had to use some kind of voice command on the turtle? I'd never know if you were talking to me or it."  
"I see," the bot acknowledged, finally tearing its eyes away from its arm to track Richard as he nodded in approval.  
"Is Richard prohibited as well?"  
"Yes," the detective sighed. "No Paul and no Richard."  
"I do not refer to you by your first name, so there should be no reason for you to be confused even if-"  
"No Richard," he repeated. "Try again."  
The lights on the bot's face flared up. Richard studied one of the shelves bolted to the lab's wall as he waited for the android's next best idea. The glassware was so clean and transparent it was almost invisible at half opacity.  
"Would the name Dorian be acceptable?"  
"Better, but no," the detective allowed, turning his attention back to the bot.  
"Rudy?"  
"No," he huffed, frowning at his partner.  
"John?"  
"Oh for Pete's sake!" Richard ran a hand down his face. "It doesn't have to be a name of someone you know! And don't name it after anyone I have to work with on a regular basis!"  
"Define regular basis," the MX requested. The detective rolled his eyes but paused to consider the answer for a moment.  
"Don't name it after anyone you've seen me talk with more than once." He puffed his chest out and stood his ground, frowning at the light show on the bot's face.  
"Are there any other rules I should be aware of, or should I proceed with the search?"  
Richard shrugged. "I guess that's it?"  
The MX finally looked away to stare at the transparent name panel. Richard shifted on his feet and glanced around the room, studying the intersections of the physical room and the incorporeal lab setting. The lab was slightly wider and considerably longer than his living room.  
"Is Taylor acceptable?"  
Taylor? Richard blinked at the bot in confusion. Taylor? Not "Unit Zero-One", "Officer Turtle" or even "Bob Beyoncé junior"?  
"Sir?"  
"Yeah, that's..." The detective scratched at his jaw. "Taylor's great." He stared as the MX moved to unpause the game. Ava's droning filled the room instantaneously, asking if "Bob Beyoncé" was correct. When it was informed it wasn't, it asked for another name, and "Taylor" went through to the game AI without problems.  
"Hmm," the old woman hummed cheerfully, startling Richard into glaring at her. It was disturbing to watch her talk as if she hadn't just spaced out for several minutes. "So you decided to go with Squirtle. It's one worth raising! Great choice!" The old woman nodded enthusiastically at the MX. After a moment of smiling and staring at the unresponsive android she turned to Richard.  
"Now, have you already decided on which Pokemon you want to take? You can bring up the information of each Pokemon by touching its Pokeball."  
"Yeah, you said that already," Richard complained with a roll of his eyes and reached for the Pokeball. He was pleased to find it moved with his hand as one would expect a regular ball to move and was just about to try switching hands when it disappeared. The sudden loud jingle of congratulations sent a spike of adrenalin through his veins. Richard's now empty hand curled into a fist and he glared at the ceiling as Ava chirped at him.  
"Congratulations, Richard! You just acquired your first Pokemon! Would you like to give it a name?"  
Richard opened his mouth but closed it with a snap when he spotted the MX watching him intently.  
"Yeah, I'll give it a name," he said more to the bot than Ava. It was impossible for his officious partner to look pleased, but when it immediately turned away at the detective's compliance, Richard felt whipped. He threw a sideways glance to the MX before proceeding to scowl at the blank slate of the naming screen.  
"What should we call this Charmander?"  
Richard sighed. The thing was a lizard with a flaming tail, and if the little symbol next to "CHARMANDER" were anything to go by, it was a female. He didn't need access to all name databanks available to mankind just to name a goddamned Pokemon.  
"Lizzie." The name appeared on the screen as he'd said it, and after he'd confirmed it, Ava finally shut up.  
"Ah! I see you chose Charmander. You should raise it patiently!" Hackberry's disarming smile made way for a more thoughtful expression as she regarded Richard and the MX in front of her.  
"You've passed the trainer exam, but before I let you leave the town, I want to make sure you know how to handle yourselves in a battle. Go to the flower field north of here. I'll just put these away and meet you there." She nodded and clasped her hands together in front of her.  
Richard raised an eyebrow and turned to his partner. Just like the woman in the lab coat, the MX was staring at him and didn't seem to be going anywhere.  
"We should go to the flower field north of here," the android said. Richard rolled his eyes.  
"Oh, yeah?"  
"Yes."  
"I don't even know how to move."


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta work done by [jjjat3am](http://jjjat3am.tumblr.com) and [Cheesecake12](http://cheesecake12.tumblr.com), remember their namessss

Navigating the three dimensional space without physically moving much wasn't as complicated as it sounded, but it took some getting used to. The movement pose was easy enough; the MX told Richard to stand so his heels were touching, put one hand to his hips and use the other to point in the direction of the movement. It didn't get to explain how to regulate the speed before he had already rammed them into a table. Even after hearing the rest of the instructions Richard managed to bump Hackberry on his way out. The game wouldn't let them move again until after she was done blabbering about things like being happy and catching Pokemon. When Richard finally got them out of the lab he felt like he'd spent all day waiting around and getting stuck on invisible walls.  
With the laboratory building behind them and the sun shining on the players once more, Richard took off exploring their surroundings and testing his new steering skills.  
"Pallet town" consisted of a total of three buildings, a few meters of decorative fences, and three wooden signs. The buildings looked well kept and the grass had been mowed recently, but as they strolled around the small town they didn't see anyone out and about. The inhabitants of the town were either hiding in their houses or working in some other town, and Richard was grateful for it. The last thing he wanted to do was get stuck in another one-sided conversation he couldn't take part in or walk away from, so he steered clear of the houses.  
There were two obvious paths out of the town. One of them was blocked by a body of water, and the other was suspiciously free of any clutter. Richard decided to take the third route and go straight through the forest, but the game didn't let him.  
Richard could accept that walking on water wasn't allowed, but it surprised and irritated him that he couldn't walk past the trees surrounding the town. The forest was sparse and level, and in the real world he could have breezed through it without any problems, but the game treated the scattered trees like an impenetrable wall. He tried to walk into the forest at several different spots, but all he got out of it was the nagging of an MX reminding him to go to the "flower field north of here."  
The detective didn't follow the bot's advice right away, mostly because he was a stubborn idiot and partly because he was curious to see if the MX would get tired of him being so inefficient. He thought he caught the bot rolling its eyes at his antics at one point, but the MX told him it had heard a noise from above. Richard hadn't heard anything but his upstairs neighbor was notorious for making noise during daytime and he had to accept the explanation, however boring it was. The easy dismissal for the presumed eye-roll was such a disappointment to him that he gave up on trying to provoke a reaction out of the android and followed the only available path out of the town.  
As they approached a forest clearing covered in small, colorful flowers, the movement stopped. Richard swatted his hand in different directions but the game didn't let him move. The players were stuck in place as if they had bumped into Hackberry again, though the professor herself was nowhere to be-  
"Hey! Wait up!" Hackberry called from behind them. She walked towards them at a leisurely pace, which only served to irritate the detective more. Richard groaned and tried moving again, but there was no escaping the cheerful lady in the lab coat no matter how slow she walked.  
"I brought some useful items with me, but I'll only give them to you if you defeat me in a Pokemon battle first! Bring it on!"  
The music changed to a more aggressive tune and all the trees, flowers, stones, and even Hackberry herself faded away. The players were left standing on the edge of a large disc with a grass pattern, the space around them nothing but an endless blue color gradient. Richard blinked at the professor as she reappeared on the other edge of the visible space.  
"Professor Hackberry would like to battle," Ava announced. A small screen appeared above the professor's head. Next to her name were six circles, two of them filled with what looked like Pokeballs.  
"Show me what you've got! Go, Bulbasaur! Rattata!" Hackberry threw something in the air, and a flash of bright light later there were two odd creatures standing in the field. One of them was the onion Pokemon from before. It looked even stranger when it was awake and in full color. Its thick, green legs were planted firmly to the ground as it let out what Richard assumed was a war cry. The Pokemon on its left could best be described as a purple rat. Its high-pitched screech was even less threatening than the onion thing's shout.  
After the Pokemon settled into their battle stances all the action simply stopped. The music kept going in the same pompous tunes, but Hackberry and her Pokemon were stuck doing nothing but staring at the players.  
"What now?" Richard asked, turning to his partner for guidance. The MX surveyed the scene with restless eyes, the lights on its cheek as lively as ever.  
"Now we deploy the Pokemon," it said. The detective gave his MX a blank look.  
"The manual states that at the beginning of a Pokemon battle, each trainer is to send out their chosen Pokemon onto the field. To do this, you must first summon the Pokeball by holding out your hand and saying the Pokemon's name."  
Richard lifted his left hand, palm upwards, and glanced to the MX. "Like this?"  
"The exact position was not described in the game manual. It says to hold out your hand."  
"Well I'm holding it out, aren't I?"  
"Affirmative. The next step is to say your Pokemon's name."  
Richard nodded. "Alright, so now I just say Lizzie, and-"  
A Pokeball appeared above his hand with a pop. The detective blinked at it as it fell to his palm.  
"Throw the Pokeball towards the field," the android instructed. Richard did as he'd been told, aiming the ball at the ground in front of Hackberry's Pokemon. It seemed to hit something invisible in the air and split open, spouting out a beam of light. The Pokeball disappeared, but the light it had produced fell to the ground and changed shape, solidifying into a lizard Pokemon with a flaming tail. "Lizzie" was more orange than Richard had expected, but he was pleased to see that it had the sense not to shout at the enemy for no apparent reason like Hackberry's team had done. It looked around in confusion and turned to Richard, tilting its head to the side as it blinked up at the detective.  
"Char," it beamed and waved its hand as a greeting. Richard raised an eyebrow- and his hand- at the Pokemon.  
"Taylor," the MX said, and a second later another Pokemon appeared on the field. The android's turtle growled at the opponents, flexed its chubby arms, then growled at Richard too before turning back towards Hackberry and her crew.  
Each Pokemon was assigned a small screen with text and green meters on them. From what Richard gathered the first thing on the screen was the Pokemon's name, but he doubted "Lv5" had anything to do with Las Vegas.  
"What should Lizzie do?" Ava asked over the speakers. A four-slot menu appeared next to Richard.  
"Um." The detective glanced to his MX.  
"To win a Pokemon battle, you have to reduce the opponent's Pokemon's hit points to zero," the bot explained. Richard chewed on his lip and frowned at the Pokemon.  
"The green bars are for the hit points, right?"  
"Affirmative. Select 'Fight' to attack, 'Bag' to use items, 'Pokemon' to switch to another Pokemon or 'Run' to flee from battle."  
He nodded and turned back to the menu. Tapping on 'Fight' brought up a new selection of buttons.  
"Okay," Richard muttered, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. Seeing as the only options were Scratch and Growl, he felt confident in picking the one that sounded like it could do some damage; he'd seen the Pokemon yell at each other, and it hadn't lowered anyone's "hit points." The menu turned gray as he touched it.  
When Richard lifted his gaze from the buttons Lizzie didn't seem like it was going to be scratching anything other than its own stomach. It sat there on the field, lazily nodding its head along to the music. The detective narrowed his eyes at the lizard's carefree lounging.  
"Aren't you supposed to be doing something?"  
Lizzie ignored him. Richard frowned at the menu. He tried pressing the button again but all that happened was that the menu reverted back to its original, blue shade. Richard poked at it a few times more and even tried swiping at it, but he only managed to return to the first set of buttons: Fight, Bag, Pokemon and Run. A muttered curse and some poking and prodding later he came to the conclusion that the other buttons were just as useless as the one he'd started with. 'Bag' revealed another menu with nothing in it, and tapping the button for 'Pokemon' brought up a six-slot roster with only Lizzie on it. The last button, 'Run,' he didn't even bother with. He went back to the Attack menu and tapped on Scratch.  
Lizzie yawned.  
"Isn't she supposed to be scratching something?"  
The MX didn't answer him. The amount of lights flashing under its skin seemed to be too much for the entertainment system to handle; there were dark smudges appearing and disappearing around the bot's face as if the black holes could cover up the erratic blinking of red and yellow on its cheeks. The MX itself stared at the far wall in silence, uncaring of the electrical fireworks under and around its skin.  
"Ground control to Major Tom? Did you bust a circuit?" The detective waved a hand in front of its face. The MX's eyes chased after the movement for half a second before settling on the detective.  
"Sir."  
"You okay?" He asked, squinting at the light show on his partner's face.  
"All systems operational," the android claimed, but Richard had never seen an MX with that many lights on at the same time and couldn't help being suspicious.  
"Your face is flashing so bad it's messing up the system," he pointed out, gesturing vaguely at the glitching light effects on its face. One of the black holes was stuck hovering on the MX's left cheek. Richard had to cross his arms to keep from reaching out to see if it wouldn't disappear by poking at it.  
"The entertainment system is not programmed to deal with flashing lights," the MX explained. "The problem is superficial and will not affect gameplay."  
Richard gave a noncommittal hum at the bot's words. "Yeah, I don't know about the gameplay, but you look like your head's going to explode if you don't ease up on the calculations soon."  
"I'm not running calculations; I'm cataloging different Pokemon sites and forums to make searching for additional information more efficient. It may cause momentary overheating and slow down my response time but will not make anything explode."  
Richard sighed and shook his head. "Would it be too much to ask that you stop reading some nerds' forum posts and focus on what we're doing here right now? I've been trying to make Lizzie attack that purple rat for like five minutes, and you're just spacing out like some overworked library bot."  
"I apologize for any delays in response. The translations are problematic due to the large quantity of game-specific vocabulary." The lights on the android's face slowed down and faded enough for the black holes to stop appearing. "I have temporarily limited the resources dedicated to the cataloging process. Is this acceptable?"  
Richard studied the lights on its face for a moment.  
"Well the black holes are gone," he muttered.  
The MX stared at him.  
"So how do I make Lizzie attack? When I tap it the menu just goes gray like this." Richard moved back so the android could see his menu of commands properly as he demonstrated tapping the button. Lizzie didn't react to it any more than it had the first few times he'd tried it.  
"You have selected the command but not the target," the MX pointed out. Richard ran a hand down his face and sighed. The android didn't jump into an explanation right away, so he gave it a few more seconds and an expectant look. It didn't get the hint.  
"How do I select the target?"  
"The manual states that after selecting the command you must select the target by pointing at it," the android recited.  
The detective raised an eyebrow at the MX but did as he'd been told. A green square flashed around the purple rat when he pointed at it, and Ava proceeded to ask the MX what Taylor should do. The bot quickly flicked through the menu that appeared at its side, tapped the button for "Tackle," and aimed it at the rat.  
"Foe Rattata used Tail Whip!" Ava announced. The purple rat spun around, swiping at the air with its tail. "Lizzie's defense fell!" Richard scowled at Hackberry's Pokemon. How could some rat's tail movement have anything to do with Lizzie's defense?  
"Lizzie used scratch!"  
The lizard perked its head up and got to its feet. After the slow start it dashed forward with astonishing speed, clawed at the rat, then ran back to the spot where it started from. The next Pokemon to move was the onion-on-legs. When it tackled Lizzie to the ground, the lizard let out a pathetic squeak that had Richard wincing in response. Taylor went after the rat the second Ava announced it "used Tackle."  
"What should Lizzie do?"  
The next turn went much like the first one. The rat tackled Taylor, Lizzie avenged it with another scratch of its claws, and the onion tackled Lizzie again. When the MX's turtle tackled the rat, the purple Pokemon's hit point bar drained out completely and disappeared with the rest of the rat's screen. Richard had half a second to feel triumphant over the victory, but then the rat disappeared too.  
Poof. Gone.  
"The foe Rattata fainted!"  
Richard set his jaw and turned to the MX.  
"Where did it go?" He demanded. His partner observed the scene with its usual calm, the lights on its face flashing madly to a beat that occasionally matched the bold background music. The detective could have grabbed the idiot by the front of its shirt and shaken it for good measure but settled for growling at it.  
"Our Pokemon are already down to half their hit points! Are they going to disappear too?"  
The MX finally acknowledged him by turning its head towards him and regarding him with a passive look.  
"I believe the Rattata went into a Pokeball."  
Richard scowled at his partner.  
"You _believe?_ "  
The MX glanced at him before dodging his gaze to stare at something in the distance. "To believe means to expect, to suppose, to accept-"  
"I don't need an explanation on what believe means, I need an explanation on why you would believe the rat went into a Pokeball!" Richard interrupted, impatient to move on in the game. The android stared on forward as it spoke.  
"I was only using the word to convey uncertainty in my answer. I don't believe anything."  
The detective blinked at his partner. First it tells him the rat didn't disappear, now it says it doesn't believe in the Pokeball theory itself?  
"Make up your goddamned mind!"  
The MX opened its mouth and closed it again. "I'm not sure what you're requesting me to do, detective," it said, turning to stare at Richard as blank as ever.  
Richard pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. If the android couldn't give him a definite answer to what had happened to the rat, he wasn't about to risk it. He turned to the command menu and went for the only button he hadn't tried so far.  
"You can't run away from a trainer battle," Ava said the moment he tapped in the command.  
"What?! That's just..." Richard huffed and crossed his arms. "I already named that stupid lizard, you can't just delete it!"  
"What should Lizzie do?"  
Professor Hackberry smiled at him from across the battle area. Richard scowled at her.  
"Is it possible to get a gun in this game?"  
"Negative," the MX responded immediately. Richard snorted.  
"Are you sure about that or do you just _believe_ it?" He asked, narrowing his eyes at the bot.  
"I am certain it is not possible to obtain firearms in this game," it insisted, staring at the Pokemon on the field. The turtle was wagging its tail like an annoyed cat. "It's your turn to select a command, detective."

\----

"Oh, it's been so long since my last battle! This sure brings back memories!" Professor Hackberry sighed.  
Now that the battle was over, the scenery had changed back to the flower-covered forest clearing. Hackberry's defeated duo had disappeared after "fainting," but Richard's and his partner's Pokemon were happily prancing around amongst the flowers, not a single scratch or bruise on either of them.  
"Thanks for reminding me of the thrills of a Pokemon battle! I want you to take these as a parting gift from me." She reached into her coat's pocket and brought out a small spray bottle with blue liquid in it. Richard took it, turning it around in his hands as he looked for some explanation on what it was for.  
"You obtained the Potion!" Ava announced, and the "Potion" disappeared in a shroud of sparkles. Richard rolled his eyes and stuffed his empty fists into his pockets.  
"If a Pokemon runs out of hit points, it will faint and has to be withdrawn from battle. You can restore some of a Pokemon's hit points by using items such as the Potion!" Hackberry patted her pockets as she spoke, clearly looking for something. "Do your best to keep your Pokemon from fainting, you hear me? Pokemon will lose trust in their trainers and become unhappy if they're constantly losing battles. Now where did I put that..."  
Richard glanced to his partner, ready to comment on how fed up he was with standing around while the game characters blabbered on. The MX was too busy staring at Hackberry to notice his irritation.  
"Oh no. Oh no, this is not good," Hackberry muttered, peeking into the pockets of her lab coat. After the quick search she hung her head and sighed.  
"I don't have the Pokedex," she confessed. "I completely forgot I gave the last one away already. Would you be a dear and visit the Pokemart in Viridian city? I haven't received the new Pokedexes yet, and I just can't give one to you if I don't have any."  
"I don't even know what-" Richard protested, but Hackberry soldiered on.  
"I would go get them myself, but my feet are starting to hurt just from thinking about having to walk all the way to Viridian city! Will you get the package for me?"  
"Yes," the MX decided before the detective could even think of refusing the request. Richard gaped at his partner.  
"Great!" Hackberry beamed and clapped her hands together. "I will wait for your return in my lab. Be careful out there!"  
She turned on her heels and took off, only to stop after the first two steps.  
"Oh, and Richard?"  
Richard blinked at the professor as she turned and continued her trek by walking backwards.  
"Your dad said he wanted to talk to you before you leave. Don't forget to visit him first!" Hackberry turned her back on them again, waving goodbye as she went. "Good luck! Come see me at the lab any time!"  
Richard watched her go, his brows knit together in a confused frown.  
"Since when do I have a dad?" Richard muttered. When he looked at the MX it stopped waving at the professor and lowered its hand.  
"I was not aware you didn't have a father," the bot said. Richard snorted.  
"Yeah, well." He worried on his bottom lip and dodged the bot's gaze, feigning interest in the path out of the town.  
"Your medical records state-"  
"So how are we supposed to find this guy anyway?" Richard interrupted, planting his hands on his hips and raising his eyebrows at the bot. "Hackberry said he wanted to talk to us before we leave, so he must be back in the town. Do we just go knock on every door and hope he's the one who answers it?" He glanced towards the town. Two out of the three buildings were partly visible from where they stood.  
"Assuming he is inside one of the three buildings in the town we have a 33,33% chance of finding him in the first building we go to," the android reasoned even as Richard rolled his eyes and settled into the moving position. "If we also assume he is not in the laboratory-"  
"Then there's only two buildings to choose from and we've got a 50% chance of guessing right, got it." The detective pointed at the town and the game world started scrolling around them.  
"Squirr!" Taylor yelped, waving a fist in the air as it ran after the players. Richard was tempted to speed up, but the trek back to the town was short and wouldn't have taken more than a few seconds either way. He slowed down so the Pokemon could catch up. With the reduced speed he had plenty of time to spot and read the text on the mailbox by the house on their left.  
He still had to stop to re-read it.  
"That's weird," he muttered, frowning at the simple black lettering. "Does this mean the house is ours too?" Richard lifted his gaze to the building by the mailbox, suddenly infinitely more interested in the house than the first time they had passed it.  
"It appears the game assigns the players a house as well as a father," the MX agreed. It didn't look excited, but its eyes were skittering all over the visible wall of the building as if it was trying to get a scan of its structure, which was about as close to seeming curious as an android like it could get. Richard smiled and shook his head, settling into the movement position to take them to the front of the house.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while since the last chapter, but even though [Cheesecake12](http://cheesecake12.tumblr.com) can't beta the story anymore (Thank you for all the help! Hope you have a wonderful school year!) I'm not finished with this thing just yet.
> 
> Beta read by [jjjat3am](http://jjjat3am.tumblr.com) <3

Their house was white and wooden with windows reflective like two way mirrors. It was bigger than the one Richard's ex wife had driven him out of, but the house had two glaring flaws that he couldn't ignore no matter how he looked at it. The first flaw was the door; while it matched the bright red color of the roof perfectly, it clashed with the detective's self-preservation instincts by looking like a target.  
The second flaw was that the house didn't actually exist, which rendered it virtually useless to a guy from the sad old place called reality.  
"To go through a door you have to move towards it," the MX instructed.  
"Yeah, okay," Richard muttered, tearing his gaze from the strange potted plants by the door and casting one last look to the front of the house. He stepped back to take a spot next to his MX before settling into the movement position.  
"Squirr!" Taylor yelped, shaking a fist at Richard. The detective blinked at it, reverting to his usual stance with his feet apart and arms loosely at his sides. The turtle stomped over to the MX, latching on to the bot's ankle before glaring at Richard from behind the android's calf.  
"Squirtle squir squirr," the Pokemon complained. Richard spread his arms helplessly in a silent question mark.  
"I don't speak turtle!" Richard objected, spreading his arms helplessly in a silent question as the turtle belted out another angry string of "squirtle" and "squirr" sounds. By the time Taylor was finished with the rant even Lizzie was blinking at Richard with suspicion in its large blue eyes.  
"Oh come on, not you too," the detective groaned. "What did I do?"  
"I believe Taylor is angry at you because you didn't warn him about your intentions to go inside the house," the MX said.  
"Squir," Taylor agreed with a firm nod. The lights on the bot's face were blinking red and blue through the game's glitching shaders as it stared at the turtle Pokemon gripping its leg.  
"They feel you are ignoring them and it's upsetting them."  
"Charr," Lizzie chirped, nodding in approval. Richard gaped at his partner.  
"How- ? They're just saying squir-squir and cha-cha-cha!"  
The MX finally lifted its gaze from the Pokemon. The detective shifted on his feet as it stared down at him.  
"I found a thread on the forum at 'pmcenter.cn' that discusses the differences between Pokemon natures."  
Richard rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. Of course the MX had gone online.  
"Username BPheasantin describes similar behavior in a message about their own Pokemon."  
Lizzie stared at the MX in awe as if the bot had singlehandedly eradicated all crime from the world. Taylor clung to the bot's leg and glowered at Richard.  
"How was I supposed to know that?" He complained to the turtle. Taylor sneered at him for an answer, then threw Lizzie a meaningful look. The lizard frowned at the other Pokemon before lifting its gaze to Richard.  
"Cha charr char," Lizzie said, tilting its head in contemplation. "Char cha-chaa. Char?"  
The Pokemon stared at Richard, clearly expecting him to say something. The detective brought up a hand to massage his temples. It was bad enough he didn't understand a word the Pokemon were saying, but now they were "talking" to him directly he couldn't even ignore it.  
"Char?" The lizard repeated with a downwards twitch of the corners of its mouth, its eyes much too wide and shiny for Richard to be comfortable with. The detective sighed. He crouched down to the grass in an attempt to seem less threatening to the lizard; blades of grass bent under his weight, but all he felt touching his knee was the cool living room floor.  
"Whatever the problem is it's probably not worth crying about, alright?" Richard murmured at the distressed Pokemon. It tilted its head in confusion, muttering more words in its imaginary language that consisted of nothing but different "chars."  
"What's it saying, MX?" The detective asked in a quiet tone, not moving his eyes from the lizard. He lifted a hand towards the Pokemon and tried smiling at it. Lizzie's eyes flicked from the detective's hand to his face, then back again. It took a tentative step forward, only to be stopped by a testy "Squir" from Taylor.  
"Could you do something about the Squirdo? It's being a total ass," Richard continued with a level voice, sparing a glare to the Pokemon in question. Taylor growled at the detective from behind the android's calf. Despite Richard's best efforts to keep Lizzie calm it reacted to the turtle's irritation, stepping back to squint at the detective as if it expected the word "scumbag" to appear on his forehead at any second.  
"MX, seriously? A little help here?" The detective peered up at the bot from his crouch on the ground. The MX was staring straight ahead, its skin a mess of blinking and swirling lights in various colors. Richard got to his feet so fast for a moment he wasn't sure if the excessive special effects he was seeing were real or not.  
"MX?"  
The lights kept on flashing and dark, fleeting shapes began to appear around the android's head, racing after the brightest lights but never quite reaching them. Richard stepped into the MX's line of sight, but the bot's eyes were stuck on some point in the distance and didn't react to his movements at all. When even waving a hand to get its attention didn't work, Richard resorted to grabbing it's shoulder to shake it awake.  
He had to grab the other shoulder too to stabilise the android as it began falling backwards.  
"Hey!" Richard yelped, continuing with some choice profanities as he yanked his partner back upright before it had the chance to crash to the floor. Swaying the android was unnervingly easy, and attempt after attempt every corrective movement Richard made was too much and left the android out of balance. When he finally managed to stop the MX from moving and tentatively let go of its shoulders, a dark shape appeared in his peripheral vision and caused him to jump; a second later the shape had expanded to its full size, further adding to Richard's confusion as he recognized it as the living room wall.  
"Player lost," Ava chirped. Richard gaped at the ceiling as the rest of the Pokemon world turned dull and gray.  
"He's not lost, he's right here!" He protested, dully noting how useless it was to argue with the game AI yet unable to stop himself from growling at it.  
"There appears to be a problem with the game system's light calibrations," the announcer continued.  
Richard glanced at the shroud of glitching lights surrounding the android's head and snorted.  
"Would you like to recalibrate the-"  
"No!" Richard bellowed, and it was enough to shut the AI up. The detective huffed and stepped back; the MX seemed stable enough now, but while it wasn't about to fall over it didn't look any closer to waking up either.  
"To recalibrate-"  
"Quiet! Silent mode!" He pleaded, but Ava proceeded to explain how to do something in some menu Richard didn't give a damn about. The detective squeezed his eyes shut and grit his teeth, drawing in a deep breath.  
Lights continued to dance on the android's face, reflecting their reds and blues on the living room walls and making the living room look like a crime scene. The MX was in the middle of it all, the victim and the primary suspect in one synthetic package.  
Richard was no technician, but he was a detective and had been one when reading the MX-43 user manual had still been mandatory to everyone looking to switch to using one of the new synthetics as their partner. Was there anything about MXs freezing up on the manual?  
Richard thought back on the lengthy digital book, his eyes flitting around the room as he tried to focus on the images he pulled from memory. He could clearly remember the basic layout and colors repeated on every page of the manual, but recalling any of the content wasn't as easy as he would have liked.  
The MX remained still, standing stable on its feet.  
Richard took to pacing around the room. _Introduction, Basic Commands- Emergency Repair -_  
There had been one page with a simplified diagram of an MX's insides- a thick wire drawn in red, traveling through its chest and snaking through both arms to branch out into thin lines at the palms. _Warning._  
Your MX-43 unit is able to serve as a defibrillator unit. In case of a malfunction, the wires used for defibrillation may be charged with a high voltage current and should never be exposed-  
Richard grimaced, blinking away the image of the irrelevant manual page. There were more warnings about the high voltage wires throughout the book and he could see several pages now- parts of several pages, but only spots where he'd had to stop reading to roll his eyes at the constant reminders to steer clear from poking metal inside the MX's arms or its chest cavity.  
The detective paused to sigh and glare at a wall. Since he hadn't been planning on stabbing the android in the arm with a fork, his recollections of the manual were completely useless. He sighed and returned to his partner, taking a spot in front of it and snapping his fingers by its ear.  
Nothing happened.  
Richard tried whistling but the loud, high pitched noise didn't annoy a reaction from the android any more than muttering quiet death threats at it did. He went to flick a hand to the MX's cheek as he might do to an unconscious human, but the unexpected heat had him yank his hand back at contact.  
"Jesus Christ!" The detective hissed, quickly checking his skin for burns- all clear, thank God. When he tried the bot's cheek again, he did it slow enough to be able to stop before his reflexes forced him to back out.  
The heat wasn't as bad as he'd originally thought; he could flatten his palm on the side of the android's face without burning his hand immediately. The forehead wasn't as hot as the cheeks, but it still felt like an overworked computer. As he tried the bot's neck he found it frigid in comparison to the light-ridden areas of its head.  
Richard cursed and stepped back, pressing the heels of his palms to his temples.  
Was the MX in stasis because of the excess heat, or was it heating up because it was malfunctioning? He'd never seen an MX hold a light show for as long as his bot had done today; it could have been the lights had forced it to shut down by generating too much heat. He couldn't do anything about whatever was happening inside the android's head, but if the problem was simple overheating all he needed was an ice pack.  
It was worth a shot.  
"I'll be right back," the detective announced. "So don't..." He trailed off and rolled his eyes at himself, huffing as he turned to leave.  
There was an odd sound like the flick of a switch; the android's eyes went flat and dark, their overwhelming blankness a perfect match to the eerie lighting in the living room. Richard found himself backing away a step and glanced towards the exit.  
 _"Error report: overload in main processor cores one, two and four."_  
The detective's eyes flicked back to the bot. The voice was coming from somewhere around the android's head, the tone as dead as the bot's gaze as it stared into distance.  
 _"All systems operational, processor load stabilizing. Please wait."_  
All systems operational. Richard ran a hand down his face and drew in a shaky breath, willing his shoulders to relax at the exhale. "All systems operational" was the MX's usual response to "Are you okay?" and about as close to "I'm fine so stop fretting" as an MX could ever get.  
"What the hell are you doing?" Richard muttered, frowning as he studied his partner's face. The light show on its skin began to settle down, each flash weaker than the one before it, and Richard could only grit his teeth and wait. He wasn't wearing his watch, so he started counting the seconds himself, realizing now that he should have been doing so minutes ago- he needed all the information he could gather about this strange synthetic's version of a seizure so Rudy would have better chances of reviving the MX if all went to shit. Richard knew he wouldn't lose his partner forever even if this particular unit decided to catch on fire and fall into pieces, but the new bot he'd have to activate as his partner wouldn't have any memories of the day's events. The androids only did memory backups when they were charging, and the MX definitely hadn't been charging since it had arrived at his apartment.  
After twenty excruciatingly long seconds the lenses in the MX's eyes spun back into action, dispelling the dead look on its face and targeting Richard in an instant.  
"Detective," it greeted him as if they were about to start a shift, and the familiarity of it flooded Richard with relief.  
"Oh thank fuck," he muttered, finally letting go of the breath he'd been holding back. "Are you okay? What happened?"  
"I miscalculated the amount of processing power needed for the forum searches."  
"What forum searches?" The detective snapped, scowling at his partner.  
"I searched 1,431 different Pokemon and gaming forums for explanations to Lizzie's behaviour, but the results were inconclusive," the android recited. Richard blinked at it, needing several seconds to remember who Lizzie was, let alone what she had to do with the android's freezeup.  
 _He_ had asked the bot about Lizzie. He had asked it for the information, and the MX had nearly broken down in its search for it.  
"Would you like for me to continue the search?"  
"No!" Richard snarled, "Are you crazy? Don't ever do that again!"  
The MX's eyes flicked to his chest and a familiar pattern of red light skittered across its cheek. Richard scoffed and tried to wave its gaze away with a hand. "What are you scanning me for? You're the one who just freaking froze up like..." The detective huffed and paused to rub his temples.  
"You're upset," the android observed. Richard snorted.  
"This was a stupid idea. We should never..." The detective trailed off and glared at the couch. "I should never have asked you to do this."  
He set his jaw and forced his gaze back to the android. It opened and closed its mouth once before words agreed to come out.  
"I apologize for failing to provide the information you requested," the MX said. Richard laughed, a surprised sound that had nothing to do with amusement. The humorless grin fell off his face in an instant, leaving in its stead a furious scowl.  
"I don't care about the 'information,' you goddamned robot!"  
The android stared at him unblinkingly and without comment. Richard shook his head and sighed, glancing around for the exit. The living room door overlapped with a house in the half-transparent Pokemon world. It was too old and scarred to blend in with the flawless surfaces in the game.  
"Come on," the detective said, stepping past the bot and going for the door. The lack of boots left the MX's footfall nearly silent in the living room, but when Richard reached the hallway he couldn't hear it at all and had to stop to check if the android had frozen up again.  
"Where are we going?" It said, standing its ground in the living room door way. Richard crossed his arms and turned fully to face its expressionless staring, responding to it with a puzzled frown.  
"Back to the precinct, we have to get you checked out-"  
"There is no need to consult a technician about this," the android interrupted. The detective's brows shot up at the ridiculous claim.  
"You stop responding for minutes and there's no need to consult a technician about it? If I had blacked out for even a second you'd have me halfway to a hospital by now!"  
"I know the error was caused by a momentary processor overload, so there is little point in examining the matter any further. I was running several memory-heavy processes in private server space and could not access all the resources required for successfully -"  
The bot kept talking and telling him about logs and dumps- Richard went to order the MX to slow down, but ended up closing his mouth without a word.  
"- accessing additional resources during runtime impossible -"  
Richard was still too shaken to keep up with the MX's rapid-fire jargon and no stopping between sentences, but it was good to see it blabber on as it tended to do when it knew what it was talking about. When the MX was like this it seemed impossible for it to ever freeze up, but Richard wasn't sure if or how he could simply ignore the freezeup from minutes ago. There had to be some way of ensuring it wasn't going to happen again, but aside from simply trusting his MX, his only option seemed to be to take it to a technician for a check up.  
He really didn't want to take it anywhere- least of all to a techie loaded with intrusive questions and curious looks. Even if he managed to get a hold of Rudy and had him take a look at the MX, Richard would have to explain why he was bringing the bot in and then he'd be forced to tell the scrawny man about Pokemon. Rudy was no tattletale but he tended to let things slip when he got excited about something, and something told Richard that an MX somewhat successfully playing Pokemon would be pretty high on the list of things that Rudy would love to share with anyone who might listen. After Maldonado inevitably caught wind of things it wouldn't be only Richard's hide on the line, but also his MX's, as the android had been the one to appear at his doorstep without being asked to. Richard didn't know how androids might get punished for walking around the city with no permission, but the longer he thought about it the more uncomfortable his ideas made him.  
"Sir."  
The detective pried his eyes from the hallway wall to blink at his partner.  
"Would you like me to repeat?" It asked. Richard cleared his throat.  
"No, not really," he said, crossing his arms. "If I take you to Rudy now, what are the chances that he'll find something wrong with you?"  
The detective gave his partner a serious look. It continued to stare at him as blank as ever.  
"There are several minor calibration errors Rudy Lom would surely take notice of, but they will be looked into in my monthly check up. Seeing a technician now would be pointless. I became unresponsive because of my own mistake, detective. It will not happen again."  
The detective wanted to believe it, but he was too familiar with Murphy's law to be soothed by simple words. "And what am I supposed to do if you freeze up anyway?" He sighed.  
"I will not, but if I did, you should avoid touching my hands and deliver me to a technician."  
Richard snorted, shaking his head. As if it wasn't enough the user manual kept repeating "don't go near the high voltage wires going through the arms," even the bots had been programmed to remind him against it whenever it got the chance. The detective went to pull on the cuffs of his sleeves, but the distraction felt as insufficient and pointless as it was so he set his hands to his hips instead. The MX stared at him, a slither of color appearing at the side of its face every few seconds as it processed some thing or the other.  
For a minute the faint knocking from the apartment above Richard's was the only sound breaking the silence. The detective and his partner stood in the hallway, the MX at the living room door and Richard halfway to the front door, unsure of how to proceed from there. The bot was clearly against seeing a technician, and Richard silently agreed that it might be more trouble than it was worth no matter how worrying the freezeup had been.  
He could always drag the MX in for a check up tomorrow. No one would think it too weird if he brought it in for a check up, grumpily claiming it had made his coffee wrong or something equally pointless. He would get called a pissy princess behind his back for it, but it would spare them from the troubles that might arise from confessing to playing Pokemon.  
"Would you like to resume the game?" The MX suggested. Richard sighed.  
"I'm not sure that's such a smart idea," he muttered. "Maybe you should go."  
"Would you like some coffee?" It tried. The detective couldn't help frowning at it.  
"You almost sound like you don't want to leave," he accused.  
"Do you want me to leave?"  
Richard blinked. "Well." He didn't, but returning the android to the charging bay seemed like a sensible thing to do. It would be safe there until the next day, when Richard could deploy his great "My MX Messed Up My Coffee" plan.  
For a second the android looked like it was about to say something, but its jaw continued to open up until its mouth was gaping in what could only be described as a yawn. While Richard heard air moving through whatever pipes the android had for breathing, it's chest barely moved at all, and when it puffed its breath back out through its nose it was like getting huffed at by an angry heater. After the initial warmth had passed the hallway felt several degrees colder than moments before, but the bot resumed its idle staring as if nothing had changed.  
"Did you just..?" Richard managed, staring wide-eyed at his partner as it repeated the procedure a second time. "Why are you yawning?" He demanded as the bot finished stretching its jaw. The breath it sighed out in his direction smelled like metal and chemicals, and it was warm enough to make the detective narrow his eyes. "Are you still heating up?"  
"Negative," it claimed, and Richard had to stop himself from walking over to check its temperature anyway.  
"You're huffing out hot air like a sick dragon and I'm supposed to believe you're not overheating?" The detective summarized in a flat tone.  
"There is a minor overheating problem with the light emitting circuits near the outer layers of my face," the android allowed, "but the temperature is currently decreasing, not increasing. It should return to normal within five minutes."  
The android's cheek lit up for half a second and its jaw fell in another yawn.  
"Correction: the temperature should return to normal within five minutes forty-nine seconds."  
"Where did the extra minute come from?" Richard hissed, taking a step forward and somewhat relieved that as long as the bot wasn't huffing hot air, he couldn't feel any heat radiating from it from several feet away.  
"The light emitting circuits produce light as well as heat every time they're activated," the MX explained. "I calculated a more precise estimation of the time required for cooling down and it prolonged the process by-" another light jumped across its cheek "- four seconds, not a minute. Calculating this has further affected the time required for cooling down and the current estimation-"  
"Would you stop calculating?" Richard hissed at the bot and its glowing red circuits. The lights on the android's cheek flickered off and it stared blankly back at the detective. Richard ran a hand down his face and sighed.  
"You know, for such a smart guy you can be really stupid sometimes," he muttered, shaking his head. The android yawned as if it was bored with listening to the detective's grumbling, but while Richard found the thought amusing he was unable to comment on it when he himself was infected with the need to yawn. The human at least had the decency to cover his mouth when he let it gape open.  
Richard was still batting the moisture out of his eyes when the android spoke.  
"How would you define 'stupid,' detective?"  
Richard opened and closed his mouth. The MX stared at him, a single red dot blinking on its cheek despite just having been told to stop thinking so much. The detective wondered briefly if he could take a battle ready android to an obedience class meant for synthetic dogs.  
"An online dictionary describes stupid as someone who is slow to learn or understand. Is this correct?"  
The light died out and the detective was left frowning at the android's cheek before he thought of moving his eyes to meet the synthetic's gaze. "Not everyone who's slow to learn or doesn't understand is stupid," he said, narrowing his eyes at the bot. "But I guess that's as good an explanation of stupid as any."  
"You called me a guy despite having repeatedly been reminded of the fact that I am not a guy or a person at all. I'm an MX. Does this not mean you are slow to learn or understand?"  
The detective had had his suspicions about where the android's rant had been headed, but he wouldn't have been prepared to hear the punchline even if he'd gotten a warning of it a day in advance. He stared at the MX for a long moment.  
"Did you just call me stupid?" Richard articulated, his own voice an oddly distant sound after the long silence in the cramped hallway.  
"Negative. I asked you if you were slow to learn or understand," the android claimed.  
"No," the detective frowned, "you _insinuated_ that I'm stupid. That's..." Impressive from an MX, but Richard wouldn't praise the bot for being rude. "I think insinuating is even worse," the detective marveled, staring openly at the bot. He imagined his flabbergasted gaping had to look more than a little comical, but the MX didn't notice or care. It stared at him in the completely neutral way only androids and cameras could pull off and continued on as blank as usual.  
"It was not my intention to insinuate anything," it assured him, "but I will do my best to call you stupid instead of insinuating it in the future if it makes you more comfortable."  
While Richard was busy trying to decide if he should have been amused, mortified or offended, the MX yawned, drawing in a breath through its gaping mouth and puffing the air out at a notably higher temperature.  
"May I retrieve a gel pack from the freezer?"  
The sudden change in topic made Richard feel like the bot had been right to call him slow to understand, but he forced the issue from his mind as he focused on the problem at hand.  
"The huffing and puffing isn't working?" He asked, taking a tentative step towards the kitchen. The hallway was so small that the effort brought him halfway to the freezer door.  
"Cooling down is taking longer than expected and the heat will start rising again when we resume the game," the android explained. "If I had something cold to hold over the overheating areas we would be able to continue playing immediately and would only have to take breaks when you require it."  
Richard had to frown at the android's phrasing; _when_ we resume the game? When had they decided they would resume the game? The detective couldn't remember agreeing to it, but the MX didn't notice his confused looks; it stepped forward, towards the kitchen and the man blocking its doorway. Richard could only move out of the way as the bot approached him. He watched from the sidelines as it went for the freezer, plucking out a gel pack from the labyrinth of frozen pizza and vegetables with the efficiency of someone who knew where to look.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta'd by [jjjat3am](http://jjjat3am.tumblr.com) <3

As the game world came alive around them, so did the lights under the MX's skin. Most of the time when Richard saw the dance of red lights on his partner's face, he thought little of it. Sometimes when it was dark and the lights surprised him, the flash of red reminded him of Christmas decorations, and now and then the lights reminded him of other glowing, red things, such as the "low battery" alert on his phone or the XXX signs in the more shady parts of the city.  
Now, as he watched the lights bounce around underneath the translucent gel pack held to the bot's cheek, all Richard was reminded of was the old lava lamp he'd used to have in his room as a kid.  
The lamp had been slow to warm up, then heated to the point of becoming a fire hazard, but that hadn't stopped him from keeping it up all around the year. He'd used to lie in his bed, staring idly at the purple bubbles as they chased one another up their shiny glass prison before falling down again, heavy and slow as his thoughts at the time.  
"We should wake her up," the android said. The lights on its cheek made the bright blue gel look purple. Richard hated how close the color was to matching his late lava lamp. It seemed impossible anything in that shade of purple could be cold.  
"How's the face?" Richard asked, crossing his arms as he took a wider stance and ignored their bright surroundings.  
"I'm not sure what you mean," the bot claimed. The detective's eyes narrowed as the MX moved the gel pack from one side of its face to the other for the sixth time in half as many minutes.  
"You were heating up like an old lava lamp just now. How do I know your face isn't about to light on fire?"  
"The only way my face could light on fire was if something flammable was sprinkled on it or if it was exposed to temperatures higher than the circuits in my face alone are able to produce," the MX explained. The detective rolled his eyes so hard it hurt, but the android failed to pick up on his nonverbal cues.  
"I don't need a lecture in physics, I need to know you're okay!" He complained, crossing his arms tight across his chest. "If you want to keep playing-"  
"Sir-"  
Richard silenced it with a hand gesture and continued on in a stern tone, "If we keep playing, you've got to promise me you'll tell me right away if there's any problem with the overheating or anything else."  
The android paused, but the lights on its cheeks didn't.  
"I will inform you if I require any further assistance with the overheating," the MX agreed. Richard nodded slowly, waiting for it to continue. It didn't.  
"And if there's any other problem..?" He tried, raising his brows to mark the spot where he expected the MX to pick up and finish the sentence. Richard didn't realize how pointless it was to even try such a tactic, until he'd been staring at the bot in silence for several seconds. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.  
"There will not be any problems," the MX announced, earning a short, humorless laugh from the detective.  
"Of course not," he muttered, but tore his eyes from the android and the gel pack it held to its face.  
Pallet Town was as bright as ever, its Pokemon residents befitting of the bold color scheme. Taylor's green shell glistened in the sun as it bounced on its heels next to the MX, its cartoon eyes trained on the door before them. Lizzie contrasted the turtle not only in color but attitude as well; it was dozing off by the mailbox, its orange sides rising and falling to the rhythm of its breath.  
"She will be displeased if we leave her outside," the MX supplied helpfully. Richard raised a brow at his partner, forcing his gaze away from the gel pack and to the bot's eyes.  
"Looks pretty pleased to stay if you ask me," he pointed out.  
"When entering a house, any Pokemon outside their Pokeball will automatically follow their trainers to the new location. She would be forcibly moved inside even if we left her to sleep here. You should wake her up."  
Richard sighed and shook his head at the newest addition to the weird game rules he would likely forget about in the next five minutes. It didn't make sense to him how waking the Pokemon was any better than letting the game wake it up for them. At least if the game was the one interrupting the creature's slumber, the players wouldn't have to suffer the wrath of the sleepy Pokemon. By Richard's reasoning they would have been better off leaving the lizard as it was, but he was ready to skip the arguing just this once if it meant they might make some progress in the game. He could use the distraction from the lava lamp colored gel pack on his partner's face.  
"Lizzie," Richard called in an even tone. The Pokemon drew in a long breath and sighed it out, not bothering to move or open its eyes.  
"Get your ass over here or we're leaving it outside with the rest of your body parts," the detective warned, squaring his shoulders as he spoke.  
The Pokemon yawned and stretched its pudgy limbs out, blinking lazily at the trainers. "Char?" It said and tilted its head just so as if it could weasel out of having to do anything by simply looking as adorable as possible. Unfortunate for Lizzie, Richard was a well trained, battle-hardened detective and a professional interrogator. If he felt like pinching the lizard's cheeks for half a second, it didn't show on his face.  
"You can 'char' all you want later when we don't all have to wait for you! Now get that lazy tail off the ground and bring it here," Richard ordered, crossing his arms and giving the lizard a hard look. The Pokemon pouted, but got to its feet and waddled over. Richard rolled his eyes and settled into the movement position, steering towards the front door of the house.  
The bright red door opened when they reached it, but instead of being allowed inside the building the players were thrown back as if they had been hit with something bigger than an opening door.  
A young boy with a black shirt and a questionable haircut stepped out of the house to smile smugly at the players, his chest puffed out as if he'd recently done something that automatically made him a better person than anyone else in the universe. When the kid spoke his voice sounded just as annoying and childish as his exterior had Richard expect.  
"Well, well, if it isn't Richard and his..." The boy looked the MX up and down, his expression a mixture of distaste and pity. Richard grit his teeth and glared at the game character as the kid hummed in thought, a puzzled frown on his pudgy face.  
"What are you to him anyway, Bob Beyoncé?" The child wondered, scratching his smooth jaw in thought. "A friend? A sibling?"  
"I'm detective Paul's partner," the MX said, moving the gel pack to the other side of its face without breaking eye contact with the kid.  
"Oh, so you're Richard's partner?"  
"Yes."  
"Well isn't that cute," the kid sneered.  
Cute? "No, you got it all wrong-" Richard protested, only to be cut off by the rude child's tinny jeering.  
"Two losers together!"  
The detective sighed, long and deep, burying his face in his hands as the kid kept talking.  
"How about you weaklings get back inside and never come out again? That way I won't have to worry about tripping over you on my travels across the region."  
The boy snickered, pausing to side-eye the both of them before finally agreeing to leave them the hell alone.  
"Smell ya later!" He chirped, waving a hand as he took off. A few steps later the kid took a turn and disappeared behind their house's corner.  
"Smell ya later," Richard imitated in a mocking tone, making a face at the spot he'd last seen the kid at.  
"What a pile of..."  
The MX waited for him to finish the sentence, but the detective closed his mouth and settled back into the movement position to steer them towards the house.  
Their surroundings turned black as they bumped to the door. Richard sighed in relief at not being forced to listen to another annoying kid or a talkative Pokemon professor who happened to rush through a door just as they were trying to go through it. He had yet to meet a single game character he wanted to interact with and doubted "his father" would be an exception to the rule. He was looking forward to finding the guy only so they could move forward in the game and hopefully never talk to anyone again.  
The game took several seconds to load the next scene. When the darkness bled away, it was to reveal a single room with minimal furniture.  
A TV sat sad and quiet by the far wall, not even a pillow in front of it to sit on. The fridge, stove and other mandatory kitchen equipment were packed against the wall next to the TV as if to save space when there was plenty to spare.  
Richard had been expecting the place to resemble a home, but it was closer to being an empty storage hall than anything else. The only indication of life in the area was the graying man sitting at the generic table in the middle of the room. He looked up from his book as the door closed behind the players.  
"Oh, Richard and Bob Beyoncé!" He beamed, his back a hunched curve as he folded a corner of a page in the book in front of him. He had to lean heavily on the table just to get up from his chair, but afterwards he didn't seem to have any problems standing on his own two feet. His head protruded forward as if he was trying to get closer to whatever he was squinting at. Currently that was Richard.  
"You just missed the neighbor's kid- what was his name again?"  
"What is your rival's name?" Ava asked.  
The detective blinked at the small screen that appeared in front of them. Unlike with the other name screens so far there was already something written on this one, and next to the name suggestion was a small picture of the rude kid they had run into when trying to enter the house.  
Richard could already tell that the kid was a complete douchebag, so letting him off with such an inoffensive- albeit strange- name was clearly not an option. Dubbing the kid Dick was tempting for obvious reasons, but he knew some Dicks and most of them had never looked at his partner like it was the reason some headphones only had one side that worked.  
"Let's call him John," the detective decided, nodding decisively as "John" replaced "Blue" on the name screen.  
"Right. So your rival's na-"  
Ava stopped- as did everything from the old man's breathing to the curious glances of the Pokemon. The pause menu hid the name screen from view, and Richard turned to frown at his partner.  
"What-" he begun, but the android didn't bother waiting for the rest of his question.  
"John is a name of someone you have to work with on a regular basis," it pointed out, staring back at the baffled detective. "You said choosing a name like that would be unacceptable."  
"Well- yeah," Richard stuttered, "but I think John suits him just fine."  
"I don't understand. You are going against the naming rules you set yourself. It would help me refine my naming methods if you explained why you think naming the child John would be acceptable."  
Richard huffed and crossed his arms, frowning at the bot and the neon blue gel pack it held over its cheek. "I just think it fits him," he grumbled. "That enough detail for you?"  
"Negative. Please elaborate."  
The detective sighed, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. "Elaborate- elaborate how?" He demanded. "The kid's an asshole and Kennex is an asshole; they're both assholes so they might as well both be Johns too."  
A moment passed in silence as the MX considered his words, the gel pack colored with moving splotches of purple as the lights on the android's cheek shone through the translucent material.  
"Don't think too much or your face will melt," Richard muttered.  
"It will not," the android claimed. The detective pressed his crossed arms tighter to his chest and glowered at the lights crawling under the bot's skin.  
"Being an asshole is a characteristic detective Kennex and the child have in common. Is this correct?" The bot enquired.  
"Yeah," Richard nodded with some reluctance.  
"Assuming you do not use the word in its literal meaning, I have no way of determining if someone or something is 'an asshole' or not, but there are many other characteristics I am able to recognize. Such characteristics include, but are not limited to, height, weight, heat signature, gait length-"  
"Yeah, I get it," Richard interrupted, "you've got eyes- sensors, whatever- get to the point."  
"The rule against selecting a name of someone you have to work with on a regular basis is always irrelevant if it can be negated by a single shared characteristic between the person and the thing to be named after them."  
The detective rolled his eyes, but the android wasn't finished.  
"For example, naming Taylor after Dorian should have been acceptable because both Squirtles and the DRNs have hardened chest plates that protect them from harm."  
Richard snorted and shook his head, lifting a hand as if to grab a viable argument from the air since he couldn't come up with one on his own right off the bat. Short on words and his hand already raised, Richard had to settle for closing his mouth and pointing an accusing finger at the bot. It was so infuriatingly indifferent about being right that Richard was starting to imagine things, thinking it somehow managed to look smug without moving a muscle in its face.  
"It's not the same thing," he managed after a much too long pause. He wasn't entirely sure as to what he was talking about anymore, but clearly he had to say something to shut the MX up.  
"Please elaborate," the android requested, staring calmly at the detective as he let his shoulders fall.  
"How about we just forget about John and name the kid something else?" He suggested, stuffing his hands in his pants pockets and raising a brow at his partner.  
"That would be acceptable," the MX agreed. "How about Bob or Beyoncé?"  
Richard snorted. "You've got to be kidding me," he grumbled, running a hand down his face. The bot only stared blankly at him while his expression turned from annoyed to perplexed to suspicious.  
"Are you kidding?"  
"Certainly not," the android said. Richard squinted at it, but it didn't crack a smile or say a word more, not that he should have expected it to. The detective shook his head.  
"I'm naming the kid Dick," he announced.  
"You're naming him after yourself?" The MX wondered, effectively stopping Richard from going for the button to continue the game.  
"What?" He croaked. First it calls him an idiot, and now this? Richard knew he had some work to do on his social skills, but he was in a much worse place than he'd thought if he'd managed to mess up an MX so bad it was comfortable insulting others on a regular basis.  
"Dick is a common nickname for Richard," the bot explained.  
Richard closed his mouth.  
"The character's default name is Blue, but he has appeared in the game and animated series under other names, such as Green and Gary," the MX continued as if anyone had asked it for a lecture about game character names.  
"Okay, but naming him Dick wouldn't be naming him after me," the detective protested. "I've never been called Dick-"  
"That is incorrect. Several people have referred to you-"  
"It's not my name!" Richard hissed, "It's never been _my_ nickname and you know that!"  
The MX wisely kept its mouth shut as the irritated detective glared at it, his hands balled into fists and teeth ground together.  
"You just don't want to name him Dick, do you?"  
"You must be projecting. I have no preference; I'm an MX. You may name the child however you wish."  
"If I try to name him however I wish you start reciting naming rules at me like you're some kind of a-" Richard grimaced, "cop of... naming things- the cop of christening!" He accused.  
"I have no affiliation with any church," the android declared.   
"You-" Richard begun, stepping forward as if his angry huffing and puffing was any more menacing up close. He stopped right in front of the MX, his mouth pressed into a thin line as he did his best to glare at the android.  
 _I have no affiliation with any church._  
The detective felt his poker face crumble, but kept the laugh at bay by biting his lip. Shaking his head he backed off, returning to his previous spot at the MX's side.  
"What names did you say the kid usually has?" Richard asked when he was sure he wouldn't start snickering the second he opened his mouth. "Blue and Red and Rainbow?" He doubted any name would be half as fitting to the kid as John or Dick, but if the bot would be happy naming him after a color, Richard would make sure to pick the least pleasant color he could come up with.  
"Blue, Green and Gary."  
"Gary isn't a color," the detective snorted.  
"Gary isn't a color," the MX agreed. "And Blue and Green are not common names for humans."  
"Hmm," Richard hummed for a response, not really listening to the bot's words as his focus turned on a memory of two unfortunately colored pillows at the crook of a couch. God, he'd hated those pillows. His ex wife had brought them home from a sale and though the things were supposed to be decorative, they were ugly as well as hard to sleep on. Now what had that color been called? It wasn't pink or purple even though Richard was sure the pillows would have passed for either. Ponce? Punk? Puke..?  
"Puce," Richard exclaimed, snapping his fingers. "We should name him Puce!"  
"Puce is French for flea," the bot noted. Richard raised his brows but had to nod in approval of the information.  
"I meant the color, but that's perfect. He can be the horrible, pink-purple flea kid," the detective smirked. The MX stared at him blankly and without comment as he turned to the pause menu. He stilled his hand an inch from tapping the button for Continue, feeling the android's gaze on him like a physical pressure against his skull.  
"You don't like Puce either," Richard sighed and let his hand drop, turning his head to glare back at the bot.  
"The MX don't like things," it claimed.  
"You're looking at me like you want to say something. What's wrong with Puce?"  
"Nothing," the bot said. "The character's original name suggestions were Blue, Green and Gary," it added, still staring at the detective. Waiting.  
"You know, this would go over so much faster if you just confessed you want to name him after a boring color."  
"I do not want anything, I'm an MX. The MX-"  
"Fine," Richard interrupted, raising both hands in surrender. "Then how about Gary? Would that be _acceptable_?"  
"Affirmative," it agreed, turning to stare at the pause menu as if "Let's name the kid 'Gary'" had been all it had been waiting to hear. Richard was still scowling at its side profile as it pushed the button for 'Continue,' bringing back the light, life and colors to the game world around them.  
"-me is 'John?'" Ava said, paused for half a second, then repeated: "Right. So your rival's name is 'John?'"  
The detective opened his mouth to answer, then closed it again with a snap. The MX was so sure of Richard's compliance that it didn't pay him any attention anymore. It seemed busy staring at the old guy by the table and processing whatever it was it was processing, a plethora of lights dancing around its cheek. What was it thinking about anyway? Trying to figure out new ways to make the detective do whatever it wanted?  
Fuck this.  
"Yes, his name is John," Richard announced, stuffing his hands into his pockets. His heart attempted an uncomfortable defensive maneuver as the bot slowly turned its head towards him and proceeded to bore a hole through his skull with its blank gaze. Richard had no idea how it was glaring at him without moving a muscle in its face, but somehow it managed to convey more disappointment and murderous intent in one blank look than most people could pull off with a full range of expressions. It didn't make any sense and Richard knew he was simply projecting his own feelings and thoughts on the bot, but it didn't keep his self-preservation instincts from screaming at him to apologize.  
"Very well," Ava chirped. Richard held his ground and stared back at the bot. The MX didn't look away.  
"Right! Right. John," said the man by the table. The android lowered the gel pack from its face, its cheek lit up with lights Richard couldn't help but notice even though he kept his focus firmly on its eyes.  
"He's a good kid, but someone really should teach him some manners," the man by the table continued. Richard's eyes were starting to dry up, reminding him to blink. The MX didn't blink.  
"But enough about that rude kid! Come here and give your old man a hug!"  
The android finally looked away and Richard tore his gaze from its side profile, blinking rapidly in an attempt to stop his eyes from stinging. The game character in front of the detective spread his arms in an invitation, stepping away from the table and towards Richard.  
"Come here!" The man urged, smiling at him as if it were a real possibility that Richard wanted to hug some guy he'd barely met, even less so a man who claimed to be his "old man." Richard's father had always been one slippery bastard, but even he could never change his appearance so much that he'd blend in to a crowd of children's game characters.  
"Yeah, no," the detective grimaced, taking a step backwards to keep a comfortable distance between himself and the overly enthusiastic old fellow. His retreat was cut short when something cold touched his back; Richard yelped and twisted away from the icy gel pack his partner had, for some godforsaken reason, decided to smack between his shoulder blades.  
"What the hell?!" The detective hissed and yanked the gel pack out of his bot's frigid hands. It didn't take long for his own fingers to feel like they were going to freeze and fall off; clearly he'd made the right decision investing in the more expensive gel packs.  
"If you move that way, you will hit your shin on the couch," the android said, calmly pointing at the empty space in between the players and the door they just came through. Richard opened his mouth to protest, but closed it without saying a thing after a moment's consideration. The projectors blocked the living room from view so efficiently the couch would be completely invisible to him even if he was staring right at it. He huffed and switched the gel pack to his other hand, lifting it up as he growled at the bot.  
"This thing is freaking cold, don't touch me with it!"  
"I apologize for causing-"  
"Come on, Richard," the cartoony man prompted. Richard glared at the game character for interrupting his partner, but the man wasn't bothered by his scowling. Creepy grandpa only held his arms wider as if he might be able to reach around the Richard's deep-drilled distrust, squeeze it into a little ball and toss it away so he may freely approach and hug the man.  
"You could have tripped on the couch, sir. I had to stop you."  
Richard's gaze softened as it settled on the android and its well-lit cheeks. The bot's face had to be heating up as they spoke. The detective turned the gel pack over in his hands before offering it back to the android.  
"How's the uh-" he gestured at his cheek with his free hand. "Temperature?"  
"Elevated," the MX said as it accepted the gel pack. It didn't lift it to its face but held it in its hand like it was a coffee cup it expected to be handing over at any moment. "The average surface temperature in the face area is currently at forty-two-point-seven degrees celsius."  
"I'm assuming that's good since you're not using the goo bag anymore." Richard glanced at the item in question.  
"Would you like for me to return this to the kitchen?"  
"Nah, it's fine. Just put it on the floor or something if you don't need it anymore."  
"Would it not be best to put it somewhere cold so it will be ready in case it's needed again?"  
"I've got like three more of those in the freezer. If you need a fresh one-"  
"Come on, Richard," the hug-deprived old man prompted. Richard rolled his eyes at the idiot.  
"Can we skip this?" He complained, aiming a hopeful look to his partner.  
"It appears the game will not allow us to continue before you hug this man," the MX observed. "May I set the gel pack on the couch? You said I should put it on the floor but it's-"  
"Yeah, couch works," Richard said, frowning at the cartoony man in front of him. The guy had bad posture and his feet were slightly wobbly, but his wrinkled face was stretched in a warm smile and his arms remained wide open no matter how the detective tried to threaten him to back off with unimpressed glaring. Richard glanced to his partner in case it might offer some loophole he could go through to get out of hugging grandpas, but it didn't notice him. The MX placed the gel pack on something- the couch- and as soon as it let go of it, a dark swirl swallowed the pack and camouflaged it so well it disappeared from view. Richard blinked at the spot where the gel pack had disappeared.  
He hadn't been even close to bumping into the couch when the bot had stopped him.  
"Come on, Richard," the man said again.  
"Just shut up already," the detective whined but moved forward, taking the few steps required to stand uncomfortably close to the cheerful grandpa. He tried his best not to put his arms through anything as he arranged them around the cartoony man and pretended to pat his back. He could still feel the ghost of the android's icy hand on his own back, but this man was nothing but a visual illusion. Not seeing where the man's hands were meant that he had no way of telling if the man was hugging him or groping his ass.  
The detective stepped back and crossed his arms. The man remained in position for a second before understanding to lower his hands to his sides.  
"I'll make sure to water the plants and keep the house tidy while you're traveling," the man said with a smile, then moved on to the next victim.  
The android's expression didn't change, but the lights on its face flared up for a few seconds as it hugged the incorporeal man that barely reached its shoulders. There was no groping involved in the exchange, but Richard glared at the man just in case.  
"Take good care of Richard, all right?" The man said, his bottom lip quivering dangerously. Richard rolled his eyes.  
"I will do my best," the MX responded somberly, and the old man smiled proudly up at it, giving a friendly pat to its shoulder before waddling back to the table. The man sniffled and wiped his nose with the sleeve of his shirt, pausing briefly to study the book on the table.  
"Did you know that Pokemon form bonds through touch just like people do?" When he looked up the morose expression was gone from his face, not a trace of worry on his wrinkle covered face.  
"If you hug and pet your Pokemon regularly, it will grow friendly towards you in no time at all! Giving compliments to them also helps a lot. You should try it right now!"  
Richard stared blankly at the man. The game character nodded enthusiastically and soldered on with a growing smile.  
"Try petting your Pokemon right now!" The man beamed, pointing with an open hand at the Pokemon at their feet. Richard narrowed his eyes at him.  
"Is this some kind of a-" the detective stopped short as he turned to his partner and saw it had already crouched to the floor. Taylor squealed happily as the android carefully stroked the top of its head. The air around the creature was sparkling.  
"Great job, Bob Beyoncé! Taylor clearly likes you already!" The old man was almost as overjoyed about the petting as Taylor was. Richard squeezed his temples and sighed.  
"Now try saying something nice to your Squirtle!"  
The detective's brows shot up at the old man's request. Something nice? With those instructions it would be a miracle the MX would even think of saying anything other than the literal "something nice!"  
"What should I say?" It asked, turning its blank face towards the surprised detective.  
"I- How should I know?" The detective shrugged, frowning at his partner.  
"The game manual reads: _giving compliments to your Pokemon builds trust and raises the Pokemon's happiness. Don't forget to tell your Pokemon how much you appreciate its company every day,_ " the MX quoted, its hand still methodically petting the turtle's head. "You must be familiar with the concept of giving compliments. Is it a compliment if I say I appreciate its company?"  
"Not exactly," Richard hesitated a moment. "Try it?"  
The android continued to stare at him for a few seconds longer, but said nothing before turning its attention back to the Pokemon.  
"I appreciate your company, Taylor," it said in its usual serious manner. The turtle blinked at it. Richard couldn't blame it for being confused- he wouldn't know how to react to it either if the bot had been saying something similar to him.  
"Well said, Bob Beyoncé! Keep in mind that Pokemon react to their trainer's mood even more than to their words. Try saying that again, but don't forget to do so with a smile on your face!"  
A smile? On an MX? Richard's eyes darted to the android. It remained frozen in place for so long that Richard almost asked it if it had gone offline again.  
"Is it acceptable?" The bot said eventually, turning its head to peer up at the detective. Richard raised an eyebrow at the unusually ambiguous question.  
"Is what acceptable?" He asked.  
"Smiling," the MX said, not a hint of said expression on its face as it stared at him with its sharp blue eyes.  
"What? Why wouldn't it be?" Richard frowned, crossing his arms in the face of such a ridiculous idea.  
"An MX displaying any emotion is faulty by default and should be delivered to a technician for inspection and repairs," the bot explained.  
"Smiling doesn't make anyone faulty," Richard protested.  
"I am not 'anyone,' detective."  
Richard opened his mouth, then closed it again with a sigh.  
The MX wasn't "anyone," he knew that. It was circuits and wires and hydraulics packed in a silicone shell controlled by millions of lines of code; not a person. Not anyone.  
But it was someone- some _thing_ to Richard, and hearing the android talk of itself so dismissively made him feel like his rib cage was shrinking around his lungs. The detective cleared his throat, but it did little to dislodge the pressure in his chest.  
"It wouldn't make you faulty either," he said, stuffing his hands to his pants pockets.  
When he forced himself to look at the android again it was still crouching on the floor, its eyes back on Taylor. The bot stopped scratching the turtle's head, which made the Pokemon try to chase after its hand. Instead of continuing with the petting like the Pokemon clearly wanted it to, the android stared the turtle directly in the eyes and smiled at it.  
Kind of.  
Had Richard not been there to hear the discussions leading to the event, he would have guessed the strange expression was the result of a broken circuit in the bot's face. Not even the set of perfect teeth that the grimace exposed could distract the detective from the overall look of pain on its face.  
"What are you doing?" The detective snickered.  
"Complimenting the Pokemon and smiling at it," the MX answered, not looking away from the turtle. Its alleged smile had got to be the most forced "smile" Richard had ever seen, which was saying something when taking into account the amount of hours he'd spent interrogating all kinds of liars. Richard shook his head, not bothering to hide his own, hopefully less threatening smile as he watched the android talk to the Pokemon.  
"I appreciate your company," the MX said, its terrible, static grimace firmly in place as it stared at Taylor with emotionless eyes. Its voice sounded exactly the same as usual and Richard had no doubt it looked terrifying up close with its teeth exposed like that, but Taylor took it all in stride.  
"Squirr squir!" The turtle exclaimed and jumped on its trainer's knee, clambering up to clutch the android's midsection in what had to be an attempt at a hug. Richard's shoulders shook with his silent laughter as the android froze up completely, the forced smile on its face long forgotten as it stared at the affectionate Pokemon. Dozens of lights lit up on the bot's face all at once as if it was trying to compute a solution to a problem much bigger than a snuggly turtle Pokemon.  
"Great work, Bob Beyoncé! You and Squirtle will be the best of friends in no time at all!"  
"His name is Taylor," the MX corrected him, earning a laugh from the detective and no reaction from the game character.  
"Why don't you try it too, Richard?" The cartoony man at the table suggested, offering out a bright smile. The detective raised his hands in defeat and shook his head, grinning as he did so.  
"I don't think I'll ever be as good at this as Bob Beyoncé here, but I'll give it a try."  
The android stared at him unblinkingly as he joined it in crouching on the floor. Richard dodged the bot's gaze and focused on the orange lizard Pokemon, gesturing for it to come closer. Lizzie waddled over and sat down in front of him with an uncoordinated flop of its tail, and Richard reached over to pat its head. It was strange not to feel anything under his palm, but he knew he was making contact by the slight bobbing of the creature's head whenever he lowered his hand a little too much.  
"Good job! Now try saying something nice to your Charmander!" The man urged him on. The detective opened his mouth only to close it again.  
"Char?" Lizzie asked, tilting its head and narrowing its eyes at him.  
"Well you're definitely the cutest lizard Pokemon I have seen," he smirked, and it seemed to be enough. Lizzie's resulting smile was so bright it literally lit up the room; dozens of shiny, bright sparkles floated in the air around it and faint beams of light surrounded its head like a halo. Richard had seen enough cartoons to know that it wasn't about to self-destruct, but he leaned away slightly just in case the sparkles were as contagious as the lizard's smile.  
"That was perfect! You all make a great team together," the man at the table marveled.  
Richard grinned at the MX, but the android didn't offer him any reaction aside from blank staring. The detective let his smile fall as he got to his feet.  
Taylor refused to let go of the bot's shirt and yelped in horror as it was dragged away from the floor when the MX stood. The android stopped it from falling to the ground with a hand, calmly cradling the Pokemon against its chest.  
"Climbing is dangerous," it said to the turtle. Taylor huffed in annoyance, but snuggled closer, turning so its back was facing Richard and the rest of the world.  
The detective could only stare at the pair even as the man at the table started talking again.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta work done by [jjjat3am](http://jjjat3am.tumblr.com) <3  
> The next chapter will likely be delayed until after Christmas because of the "MXmas" advent calendar [on tumblr](http://mxmas2014.tumblr.com). So far I haven't written anything for the calendar, but there will be at least one festive drawing featuring Richard and his MX ; ) (We're still in dire need of people to contribute to the calendar so please check it out if you have time.)

After all the touchy-feely talk, Richard wouldn't have been surprised if "Dad" had told the players to hug and compliment _each other_ for team building next. Thankfully, the guy let them off with a warning to play nice or the old man would "find an abracadabra to teleport them back home," whatever that meant. Richard suspected an abracadabra was yet another Pokemon, but didn't care enough to ask about it.  
They were told to pick up a town map from their room and a quick trip upstairs later Richard and his partner were back outside, wondering if anyone in the game even knew what a toilet was.  
Well, Richard wondered- aloud- if anyone knew what a toilet was. The MX kept itself busy by processing data, studying the town map floating in front of it, and petting the Pokemon that slumbered in the crook of its arm. Lizzie had been giving Richard strange looks ever since the turtle got lifted to its trainer's lap, but Richard pretended not to notice. It was easy for an android to play perch, but the detective was made of bones and muscles, all of which would start to hurt eventually if he had to hold his arm up like that.  
"- but nevermind there being no toilets or showers anywhere, there was only one bed in the whole house!" Richard complained as he steered them towards the only path out of town.  
"The bed was big enough for two and I don't sleep. You and your father must be sharing it," the MX said without looking away from the map. Richard snorted.  
"No way in hell I'm sharing a bed with that weirdo," he grumbled, speeding up as they approached the spot where Hackberry had last ambushed them. "Maybe if you hadn't told the kid that we're a couple, the game would have given us separate beds in the house!"  
"I have never claimed we were a couple," the android announced.  
"You said I was your _partner,_ " Richard retorted. The MX didn't even glance at him and his exasperated scowl.  
"That is correct. I did not we were a couple."  
They passed the flower field without anyone stopping them, but Richard was too busy trying not to flat out call the android a goddamned idiot to notice such a small miracle.  
"If you look like a guy, your buddy looks like a guy, and you're not wearing anything that indicates you're both cops or cowboys, people will always assume romantic partner before work partner," Richard explained through gritted teeth. "If anyone asks again, I'm not your partner, alright?"  
"But you are my partner," the MX protested. When Richard paused to look at it, it had finally given up on the map and was giving him its undivided attention, its hand frozen in place over Taylor's shell. The detective sighed and crossed his arms, bringing the players to a stop next to a large patch of tall grass.  
"You can call me your partner all you want when we're working and you've got all your gear on- no one's stupid enough to think it's anything other than what it is when they can see you're an MX! But when you're like this-" Richard gestured vaguely at the bot's everything, "-don't call me your partner. It's too confusing."  
"Then what am I to say if someone asks about the nature of our relationship?"  
Richard grimaced at the android's wording.  
"Really? That's how you have to say-" he cut himself off and ran a hand down his face. "Okay, fine, just... Just call me your friend, alright?"  
The android stared at him.  
It should have been saying "acknowledged," "I see," or anything at all to accept the instructions, but it only stared at him without as much as blinking. The long silence had Richard shift nervously on his feet.  
"Did you freeze again?"  
"Negative," it said and froze for a few seconds longer before finally turning away and towards the direction they were headed, signaling that the conversation was over. As the detective continued to frown at its side profile, he caught it glancing at him from the corner of its eye.  
"What?" He demanded, crossing his arms.  
Richard hadn't noticed the MX had been keeping most its weight on one leg like him until it straightened up its posture, reverting to its default superman pose.  
"Viridian City is straight ahead of us," it announced and resumed petting the turtle.  
"Are you still overheating or something?"  
"Negative. Please continue along this path to reach our destination."  
Richard stared at the android for a moment longer, but it ignored his worried looks and it left him no other option but to tear his eyes away and settle back into the movement position.  
The way out of the town was sprinkled with bushy patches of unkempt grass, a few low ledges of land, a couple of old wooden signs and trees, and more flowers than Richard thought necessary. On both sides of the path the forest stretched on with no end in sight, but ahead they could already see the wall of a building that had to be part of the city they were looking for.  
"Avoid walking in the tall grass," the MX instructed, not even glancing away from the map.  
"What?"  
The music changed suddenly, interrupting the bot's reply and startling Richard out of the movement pose. Their surroundings melted into a flat landscape with no visible borders, and they were left standing on a familiar, brightly lit arena of grass. Instead of a cheerful professor, there was only a purple rat on the other end of the battlefield.  
"Wild Rattata appeared!" Ava announced.  
"Oh really," Richard deadpanned, casting an unimpressed look at the sky.  
"Do you remember how to choose a Pokemon?"  
The map the android had been looking at had disappeared, so it was free to stare at Richard. The detective was temporarily distracted by the second pair of eyes squinting at him from the android's lap, but was freed of the staring competition when Taylor's attention turned to the rat on the field.  
"Yeah, I remember," Richard supposed. "Hand out, say the name. Lizzie?"

\---

"That would've been over much quicker if Taylor had helped," Richard griped as he settled back into the movement position. The MX brought up the map again, not looking at Richard as he pointed forward and made their surroundings scroll around them.  
"Unless the wild Pokemon is over ten levels higher than the highest level Pokemon on either player's team, using more than one Pokemon at a time is prohibited."  
"That's just stupid."  
"How so?"  
"What do you mean 'how so?' Why shouldn't we be attacking with all we've got when that's exactly what the enemy is doing?"  
The battle music started again, and Richard rolled his eyes.  
"You and Taylor better take this one."

\---

At the end of the third wild Pokemon battle, both Lizzie and Taylor were low on hit points. They were still following their trainers, but it was clear in the way they slumped along that they didn't have much energy left.  
"How do we get more hit points for the Pokemon?"  
"We need to rest them. Let's go back to our house." Richard raised his brows at the easy way his partner used the words "our house," but did as he'd been asked to and turned around.  
"Don't walk into the tall grass," the MX reminded him, and the detective stopped to frown at it.  
"Why?"  
"Wild Pokemon may attack when walking in tall grass."  
"Are you kidding me?"  
"Please read the signs, detective."

\----

The fourth time a "wild Pokemon appeared," it wasn't alone. The purple rat was accompanied by a bird. Now that there were two opponents, both Richard and his MX were miraculously allowed to have a Pokemon on the field at the same time.  
The rules still didn't make much sense to Richard, but their Pokemon easily triumphed over the rat and the bird and that was all that mattered.

 

\-----  
\-----  
\-----

 

Richard hated Rattatas.  
The goddamned purple rats were everywhere in the goddamned "tall grass" that practically covered the whole Route they had to walk through to get to Viridian City. When they finally reached the city, Richard would have been happy to never see one of the rats again, and he wasn't fond of the flightless, pudgy birds that occasionally accompanied the rats either. For a moment he thought his wishes might be coming true, but then the lady at the Pokemon hospital gave them the package and told them to take it _right back to the town they just came from._  
They managed to return to Professor Hackberry without running into any wild Pokemon, but only by avoiding tall grass with the clever use of what the MX called "ledges." Ledges were low bumps of ground that could be jumped over- but only from one side of them, which meant that after hopping their way to Pallet Town they were on the wrong side of the ledges again.  
Back in Pallet Town, Hackberry gifted them with some kind of a tracking device called the Pokedex. The Pokedex's primary function was to gather data about the Pokemon they encountered, and send it off to Hackberry and her buddies. Richard promptly tried to return the item, as he had no interest in sharing information of himself or his Pokemon with any organization he knew nothing about. The MX tried to explain that the Pokedex was a vital part of the game, but Richard couldn't resist acting dumb in an attempt to irritate a reaction out of the bot. He thought he caught it rolling its eyes at him once, but after a few minutes of arguing with no progress he decided to cut his losses and proceed with the game. This seemed to suit the android as well, for it listened to the Pokemon professor's ramblings so intently that it didn't even notice whenever Richard tried to start a conversation by commenting on things he found were off about the game.  
Hackberry sent them off with a gift of four Pokeballs and the instructions on how to use them to catch new Pokemon. Richard had absolutely no interest in lugging a purple rat along with him, and he said as much as they approached the area with the tall grass again.  
The MX named its first Rattata "Keri." Richard rolled his eyes but said nothing. Filling the Pokedex by catching one of each different Pokemon species seemed to be an important part of the game, so it made sense the android would want to catch the rodent no matter how purple it was.  
When the bot tried to catch a second Rattata, Richard paused the game to ask if it wasn't collecting rats just to piss him off. The bot denied the accusation, but failed to provide a logical explanation for needing more than one rat in its team.  
The second Rattata's name was Jamie.  
The third Rattata the MX ran into fainted, but Richard wasn't sure if the MX had done it on purpose or not. He apologized to the MX for being so difficult about keeping the Pokedex, as well as for demeaning Rattatas, just in case the bot's Rattata positivity had anything to do with it being mad at him.  
They ran out of tall grass- and by extension, Rattatas- before the bot had a chance to snatch up a third rodent for its team.

\-----  
\-----  
\-----

 

"X fainted!"  
Richard pumped a fist in the air, nearly joining Lizzie in jumping up and down from joy.  
"Finally! Yeah!"  
Ava blabbered on with the winning announcement, but the detective couldn't have cared less about how much exp points or imaginary money they had just earned. He scooped up the lizard and lifted it high in the air. "That's my girl, Lizzie! Good job!"  
"Charr!" Lizzie agreed. She stopped flailing her chubby arms around for a moment as a huge yawn took over.  
"Oh, right, we need to get her to the Pokecenter," Richard muttered, cradling the tired Pokemon to his chest. Lizzie curled up in his lap and closed its eyes without a moment's consideration. The detective felt like his heart grew several sizes at the realization he'd gained such absolute trust from the creature that it felt comfortable falling asleep on him.  
The gym leader blabbered on about things such as collecting more badges and becoming a master, but she had said the same things before when the MX had cleared the gym. Richard ignored her and grinned at the android.  
"Told you we could do it."  
"It would have been easier if you had caught other Pokemon to use in battle," the android pointed out. Taylor, which was casually sitting on the android's shoulder, nodded along to its trainer's words like the evil, enabling minion it was. The detective rolled his eyes.  
"It's not like you've caught anything but two Rattatas either" he muttered.  
"Keri and Jamie are both fully capable-"  
"Yeah yeah, the rats are awesome, but you didn't even use them in the Gym battle!"  
"It would have been inefficient, as Taylor is a Water type and has a notable type advantage on this gym. But Lizzie is a Fire type and-"  
"Fire is ineffective against Rock, yes, I get it now! But we got through it alright, didn't we?"  
Whatever the MX went to say was cut off as the new gym badge Lizzie had won appeared in the air with excessive sparkle and sound effects.  
"I'll take us to the Pokecenter now," the MX announced after the music had toned down back to a volume suitable to talk over. It checked Taylor was sitting securely on its shoulder and the Rattatas hadn't fallen asleep at their feet before it assumed the moving position; heels together, one hand on hip and the other ready to point the direction. It still looked strange doing it, but Richard had seen it enough times not to stare like an idiot anymore.  
They started moving- much faster than Richard would have gone if he'd been the one behind the wheel. Despite being prone to speeding, the MX had never as much as bumped to a wall when it controlled their movement, so the detective turned his attention to the Pokemon in his lap. Lizzie was fast asleep and breathing peacefully. The sight warmed Richard's heart more than the flame licking the buttons of his shirt.  
"Are you enjoying the game so far, detective?" The MX asked, startling the goofy smile off Richard's face as he lifted his gaze from the Pokemon. He raised a brow at his partner as they hit the Gym doors and landed in the dark loading screen. For the few seconds the darkness lasted, the light from Lizzie's tail illuminated the parts of the android's profile not lit up with its glowing circuits.  
"No, I'm terribly miserable and disappointed in everything," Richard said in a flat tone. The android glanced to him at that, and Richard laughed- but not too loud. He didn't want to disturb Lizzie after all the trouble he'd already put her through.  
"Sorry, no, it's... It's pretty neat."  
 _Neat?_ What was he, twelve?  
"I mean I don't get what's going on a lot of the time but I know we're all kicking ass- even Taylor!" Richard smiled sweetly at the Pokemon in question. Taylor gave him a suspicious look and climbed to the MX's other shoulder to not have to see the detective, who merely snickered at its irritation. He returned his eyes to the MX, which was busy guiding them towards the Pokecenter doors.  
"This was a really great gift, MX," he said, allowing the bot a genuine smile. "I'd never even tried anything like this if it wasn't for you."  
The game world dimmed to black as they hit the door and ended up in the load screen. For a few seconds the faint lights on the MX's cheek were the only thing Richard saw in the darkness.  
"Was that a compliment, sir?" It asked.  
"You can smell an insult from a mile away but when I try to give positive feedback it's like you're fresh out of the factory again," Richard snorted, shaking his head.  
"I can't smell anything," the MX pointed out just as the interior of the Pokecenter was revealed to them. The detective had to squeeze his eyes shut against the sudden brightness. When he blinked his eyes open again, the MX had moved to the reception desk, dragging him over in the process. The nurse greeted them with the same cheerful lines she always used.  
"Welcome to our Pokemon Center! Would you like me to heal your Pokemon back to perfect health?"  
"Yes," Richard and the MX said in unison. Taylor jumped off its trainer's shoulder and landed on the table, and Richard carefully lowered Lizzie down next to it. Richard paid little attention to the nurse as she started up the magical healing machine that played an unnecessary string of happy jingles as it powered on.  
"Thank you for waiting," the Pokemon nurse chirped. "We've restored your Pokemon to full health. We hope to see you again!"  
Lizzie and Taylor scrambled off the table and ran at the Rattatas lounging at the MX's feet. Soon they were all chasing each other, running in circles around the trainers. Richard snorted when Taylor caught Lizzie by the tail only to flinch back after realizing the lively flame at the tip of Lizzie's tail was about to char its face off. Keri or Jamie- Richard still couldn't tell the rats apart- squeaked in its worry for the turtle's well being, but when the other rat collided to it it forgot all about Taylor and took off after its buddy.  
"Don't touch her tail, Taylor," the MX chided the turtle.  
Taylor and Lizzie shared a look, and a second later they were running again- this time with Taylor taking the lead. When Lizzie caught the turtle it tried to tickle it, but just like the last five times Lizzie had attempted the playful assault, Taylor wasn't ticklish and Lizzie was the one who ended up a giggling mess on the floor.  
"I can't tell if she's stupid or actually likes that," Richard muttered, shaking his head and smiling fondly at the laughing Pokemon.  
"Why would she laugh if she didn't like it?"  
The detective glanced at his partner. It stared at him, as serious as ever, and Richard couldn't understand why he had doubted it's question's genuineness for even a fraction of a second.  
"The whole point of tickling is to force someone to laugh," he said, narrowing his eyes at the bot. "You've heard of tickling before, haven't you?"  
The android ignored the question in favor of staring at the Pokemon. Lizzie was was laughing so hard that it had lost all control of its limbs and was constantly almost punching or kicking Taylor in the face with its flailing, pudgy arms, feet and tail.  
"It appears 'tickling' is a common behaviour in humans as well as Pokemon," the MX announced. Richard's brows shot up at its words. Had the android gone and googled tickling just now? It was hard to tell when it hit the internet when half its face was lit up like a christmas tree at any given time.  
"Have you ever tickled another person, detective?"  
"Yeah, of course." Richard frowned at his partner and its curious staring. "Everyone who's ever been a kid- ..."  
He trailed off, crossing his arms. The android remained impassive and silent.  
"You've never been a kid," Richard noted.  
"I'm an MX."  
The detective opened his mouth, then closed it again.  
It was weird to think that the bot hadn't lived- or, well, been activated- for any longer than Richard had known it. It didn't have memories or its own history before the day it had been activated, and even after that, all it had ever done was work, work and work. Technically it was a two year old slave, working all its life to serve and protect others.  
"Does it ever bother you-"  
"Negative," the android said. Richard crossed his arms and frowned at it.  
"I didn't even-"  
"It's irrelevant what you were going to ask. I'm an MX. The MX-"  
"-are not bothered by things," the detective recited in unison with his partner and rolled his eyes. "I know, but-"  
"We should stop playing now," the bot announced. The Pokemon continued to frolic around the room, but the detective could no longer hear their laughter.  
"What?" Richard gawked. "Why?"  
Richard could think of several reasons his partner could have gotten mad at him just in the past five minutes, but nothing seemed major enough that it should decide to leave so suddenly. Besides, weren't MXs supposed to be unable to get mad? Richard was pretty sure they were, but he also knew that they weren't supposed to be playing Pokemon.  
"We have been playing for 3 consecutive hours," the MX offered for an explanation. Richard automatically glanced to his wrist at the mention of time. He wasn't wearing his watch.  
"It's been several hours since you last ate and when you did, you didn't finish your food before falling asleep. I recommend you go find some sustenance," the android continued. It twisted its hand in an odd motion that had the Pokemon freeze in place and the world gray out around the players. The edges of the living room were barely visible through the transparent game world, and the little Richard could see of the walls was illuminated by the bright Pause menu in the middle of the space. His partner stared at him, the red lights on its cheeks flickering out one by one now the game had been paused.  
Had it really been three hours already? _Three hours?_ They'd only just started playing!  
"Sir?"  
"I had no idea," the detective grumbled, scratching his bare wrist. "What time is it?"  
"14:28."  
It was almost three o'clock and Richard hadn't even eaten a proper meal yet. And what about the laundry he had to be doing in the near future?  
Oh, whatever. He'd worry about it after the MX left. Or maybe tomorrow. Definitely some time in the next three days or so.  
"I'll save the game and turn off the system," the android announced, reaching for the menu.  
"But we just got through the gym!" Richard found himself saying. He paused to clear his throat as the android turned to stare at him, but soldered on through his blooming embarrassment and kept his gaze on the MX through sheer willpower.  
"Could you leave it on pause so we can continue in a bit?"  
The android's hand hovered over the button that read "Save Game."  
"We don't have to," Richard hurried to add. "I mean we can, if you want to, but we don't have to keep playing, if-"  
"It would be acceptable," the MX interrupted. "I would-"  
It cut itself off and closed its mouth as a blue light came alive on its temple. Richard was just about to try waving a hand in front of it to see if it would react when it spoke up again.  
"My presence has not been requested elsewhere."  
The ensuing silence lasted for several seconds. Both the human and the android stared at one another, waiting for the other to say or do something to make sense of the situation.  
"...Okay?" Richard blinked, scratching the back of his head.  
"Correct," the MX agreed. "It would be 'okay' to continue, as long as you eat something first. May I retrieve a gel pack from the freezer, detective?"  
Richard couldn't spot any lights on around the android's face anymore, but there was no telling how bad the temperatures had gotten since it had last ditched the gel packs.  
"I'll get it," he decided, already halfway out the door. The least he could do was to get the gel pack himself.


End file.
